Rookie Goat Runs Negative Ad in Riverside Park’s Annual ‘Vote the G.O.A.T.’ Election; Conservancy Head ‘Deeply Troubled’

Photograph courtesy of Riverside Park Conservancy.

By Carol Tannenhauser

Candidates are butting heads in Riverside Park’s second annual Vote the G.O.A.T. election, being baa-ttled out in the northern reaches of Riverside Park, where, in between consuming weeds, five goats are campaigning for the 2021 title of G.O.A.T. — Greatest Of All Time.

In an unprecedented development, Hill Climbers for a Better New York Party candidate Ms. Bo Peep, the rookie, small-town goat who found her mojo in the city, released a negative TV ad against two of her opponents: Eat Your Greens Party candidate Skittles, and GOG (Grand Old Goat) Party candidate Chalupa, reported to be the front runners. The other two candidates: Buckles, from Weed Whackers United, and Mallomar (named for the classic cookie), from Better Future for our KIDS, declined to comment.

Riverside Park Conservancy President and CEO Dan Garodnick, who predicted at the beginning of the summer that the election would “go off without a hitch and the G.O.A.T. will be crowned without any confusion or controversy,” now said, billy-goat gruffly, “(We) are deeply troubled to see this campaign take such an unfortunate turn. We encourage a healthy competition among the goats, but we do not condone this level of negative campaigning.”

You can view Ms. Bo Peep’s campaign ad below.

To meet all five candidates, read their platforms, and vote for the goat of your choice, click here. And remember, this is a ranked-choice election. Rank the goats in your order of preference, or as many or few as you like. Voting ends on September 8th, and there will be a crowning ceremony on September 9th. We’ll keep you posted on the race, including the repercussions of Ms. Bo Peep’s ad.

She’s right about one thing. You can text 41444 – with the message – BOPEEP – to support the Riverside Park Conservancy, the organizer of the election. Don’t worry, contributions will not influence the outcome. Ballots will be tallied by a group of independent goats, who promise not to eat them.

ABSURDITY, OUTDOORS | 12 comments | permalink
    1. m.pipik54 says:

      Great investigative reporting

    2. Sally Koslow says:

      Excellent reporting, Carol Tannenhauser

    3. Maggie McComas says:

      Fnally, an election I can believe in.

    4. Ardith says:

      I love this piece. Doesn’t maaatter who wins.

    5. Fred's Boil says:

      That’s one baaaaaaaad kid.

    6. TravelgalNYC says:

      Love this! Don’t kid yourself!

    7. stephenson says:

      Next time use Approval voting to determine the best goat! 🙂 Its better at finding the consensus winner.

    8. NP says:

      It was only a matter of time before things goat ugly…

    9. Ian Alterman says:

      Why would we be surprised that a goat would print garbage? It’s what they live on! LOL.

    10. Carol Ingall says:

      Best news story I’ve read in months.

    11. Brendan says:

      Assigning names to animals can be problematic, as seen with the recent kill of an barred owl by a conservancy vehicle (at 2AM!, still uninvestigated. Such hegemony is not ‘cute’, and violates core issues of Natural Justice.

      • m.pipik says:

        That’s true for wild animals, but these goats are essentially domesticated and actually belong to a farm “green goats” and farmers often do give names to their animals .