Failure to Launch


Photo by Harry Leff.

An SUV attempted to mount a sedan on Columbus Avenue, or at least that’s what it looks like in the photos we’ve been receiving from tipsters. A tree also took the brunt of the impact. The incident occurred at 3:15 p.m. on the corner of 74th Street and Columbus Avenue, according to Johan Eriksson, who sent in the photos below.

How did this happen? Yes, we’d like to know that too. “Looked like whoever was driving didn’t realize that there was not a lane but rather parking spaces ahead,” Johan wrote. “Lots of onlookers outside the Pioneer supermarket at 74th street.” Johan saw the driver open the door, but didn’t see the person get out. Police came and took the SUV down.

NYPD tells us there were no injuries or arrests.

People on Twitter had a field day with suggested headlines (our favorite may be David Clift’s simple-yet-poetic “Autoerotica”).

Please do post your suggested headline in the comments.


Photo by Darielle Smolian.

ABSURDITY, NEWS | 54 comments | permalink
    1. MB/UWSer says:

      “He ain’t heavy, he’s my brother.”

    2. Naomi says:

      That’s the best thing ever.

    3. dannyb says:

      Any chance there’s a photo with the license plate being visible? I’d love to run it through the Twitter @howsmydrivingny account and see the driver’s ticket record..

      • Just stop says:

        Because his day isn’t bad enough without you twitter shaming him

        • dannyb says:

          The operator here was driving a three ton vehicle recklessly, and could just as easily have smashed into people. So yes, the driver does deserve to be shamed and ridiculed. And doubly so, if as I suspect, if there’s a record of similar behaviour. And triply, as is quite plausible, there are just about no written (well, printed…) tickets but plenty of ones from cameras.

          • xyz says:

            I’m pretty sure the police are taking care of that for you.

          • Joe says:

            A Honda CRV weighs 1.5 tons, get your facts straight, and by the way alternate side of the street parking for street cleaning purposes has been suspended, all other parking regulations remain in effect.

      • EricaC says:

        Just what we need – another keyboard vigilante.

    4. Paul says:

      Who’d have thought you could use a tree for “protection?”

    5. Ginny Cunningham says:

      “The SUV That Thought It Could”

    6. Ginny says:

      “The SUV That Thought It Was A Tank”

    7. UWSHebrew says:

      Reminds me of the nature channel

    8. Ed says:

      I wonder what the baby car will look like.

      • JaneA says:

        A Ford Fesriva. That’s what the baby car will look like. But if it eats its vegetables, it’ll grow up to become a Lincoln Navigator.

    9. Richard Gross says:

      Cars making cars!

    10. Simon L. says:

      Encouraging signs that life is returning to normal in Manhattan.

    11. Harry S. Leff says:

      Toilet paper and paper towel rush?

    12. Jacq says:

      Sisters? We’re close!

    13. Kay says:

      Hump Day.

    14. Charles says:

      I hope he’s billed for the tree.
      Would bet my last dollar he/she was texting.

    15. Jay says:

      is that car a Nissan LEAF?

    16. Brelyn Vandenberg says:

      With more New Yorkers indoors, the streets are being reclaimed for the natural mating behaviors of the native automobilia.

    17. Be Aware says:

      Could have so easily hit a person walking or on a bike rather than a tree on another car. Definitely. Texting.

      Glad it turned out to be okay and kinda funny.

    18. Gretchen says:

      Auto porn?

    19. Michael B says:

      SUV Fined $1000 for Breach of Social Distancing Rules

    20. Joe Fensterblau says:

      So much for staying 6’away from the other cars

    21. Leon says:

      In 9 months a stork will be delivering a litter of mini coopers.

    22. Richard Dana says:

      Honda f*cks Chevy. They’ve been doing that since the ‘80s

    23. JL says:

      1) there’s a run on TP at the Pioneer.

      2) that tree came out of nowhere !

      3) who said parking is complicated in Manhattan?

      4) that’ll buff right out.

      5) your Uber is here.

      6) what do you mean the Mask covers the bottom of the face ?!

    24. Big Earl says:

      I was shopping inside at the time and did not hear a single noise from the crash. I walked out to a crowd of twenty people not social distancing on the sidewalk just taking pics. I never stand in the islands as they are too close to traffic. Luckily no one was standing in the island at the time or they’d be toast.

    25. jsv says:

      This is how little sedans are made.

    26. Colleen says:

      That car is just over social distancing. it’s protesting.

    27. Please_Leave says:

      The parking spaces in front of Pioneer are reserved for commercial vehicles. The cars parked there look like TLC/Uber type vehicles. They are probably waiting to pick up people. All three cars should be ticketed.

    28. charlie says:

      You know the Honda has Jersey plates.

    29. Cambridge 50 says:

      Dogs and Cats Living Together! Mass Hysteria!

    30. Not really Chris says:

      This would never have happened if it weren’t for…. bicyclists!

    31. robert says:

      As usual the bike lobby is going yada yada with nada nada information of what AVCTUALLY happened. I have seen a lot worse when these accidents have happened in the past. The driver had a medial event that caused him/her to loss conciseness. The vehicle then mounted the traffic island pushing over the tree which then fell over the low end of the rear of the other car. The first then road up that tree at an angle onto the back of the other.
      That’s just as plausible.

      How about we wait for the actual facts before going off on folks.

    32. pioneer-voyeur says:

      little late, but this: https://youtu.be/jyjipQjPdDM

    33. Robert Sheridan says:

      I believe that’s actually a “No Parking” location during weekdays 7AM-7PM, reserved for Pioneer delivery trucks.

      If correct, the guy who owns the parked sedan will probably think twice as to reading signs in the future . . .

      Meanwhile, standing on those bike lane pedestrian islands waiting for the light to change has a new dimension of thrill to add to the New York Adventure.

    34. NY skeptic says:

      How is it that the Honda’s front end is still intact?

    35. stephen ruben says:

      Kinda romantic. So that is where smart cars come from.

    36. DrM says:

      Barely any traffic or pedestrians. Tell me again how bicycles are the primary problem on the streets…🙄

    37. Deborah says:

      Thank you everyone for your funny comments, it’s the first time in a long time I laughed out loud in the morning!

    38. UWSer says:

      I blame di Blasio

    39. How a new model sport compact sedan develops.

    40. Gin says:

      I’d like to know what really happened. From the person inside saying she didn’t hear a crash, it would seem that speed wouldn’t be a factor. Was the driver coming down Columbus? Taking a left onto Columbus. Anyone? Thanks.

    41. JQ LLC says:

      Let me tell you about the birds and the bees, the flowers and the trees and the cars