Do you like the feeling of walls closing in on you? Have you ever wanted to literally roll out of bed into the shower? Then maybe this 100-square-foot rental at 114 West 71st Street is exactly what you need! It’s going for $1,000, and the broker points out: “This is the absolute lowest price at which you can move into the West 70s!”

The stunningly small apartment in a mid-block brownstone has a tiny nook for a toilet, but is otherwise a 7-by-10 foot room. There are no windows — just a skylight. If you act now, the landlord will actually throw in the mattress seen above for free! (bedbugs included?)

The broker has fun with the listing, adding in some decent jokes:

– This apartment is so small, you can’t have three friends over at the same time; one of you will have to wait outside in the hall.

– It’s so small you can’t gain weight once you move in.

– It’s so small there’s a bumper on the front door to keep it from hitting the back wall.

– It’s so small you have to move the bed just to open and close the front door.

Also this: “And look at the bright sides of such an apartment: 4th floor walkup means you’ll stay in shape; no separate kitchen area or stove means no dishes to clean; and an apartment this cheap means the broker fee is under $2000. Where can you find THAT in this area? :)”

Gotta love the emoticon!

(hat-tip to Curbed)