Meet the Upper West Side’s Bench Bunch

By Saul Dennis

The benches just inside the entrance to Central Park at West 72nd Street are surely sturdy. They have to be, to hold the history that gathers there each day, weather permitting, between 3 and 4 p.m.: five marriages, eight children, 11 grandchildren. The Great Depression and Second World War. Add it up and you’ve got 600-plus years of wisdom and experience in this group of a dozen or so Upper West Siders.

Most are octogenarians or nonagenarians. Three women are retired teachers. One husband had a long career in manufacturing, preceded by a stint in Air Force Intelligence during the Korean War. Another husband was an ophthalmologist in private practice. Another gentleman still plays the organ at a Park Avenue church. Most have called the UWS home for at least half a century (stretching to 86 years in one instance.)

Daily attendance isn’t required, but it is very much desired. Members of this highly informal group say they come for comfort, for conversation, and sometimes just to enjoy the pleasure of each other’s company, no talking needed. “It’s good to see people I know,” says Marion, one of the regulars. (To respect individual privacy, we’re only using first names.)

The group has, after a bit of back and forth, agreed on a name: the Bench Bunch. The origin story – going back almost a year – is a bit murky. Still, most agree it probably begins with Helen. Helen, who’s 93 and speaks in a near whisper, has a personality that could easily fill the park’s 843 acres. She’ll acknowledge the title President of the Bench Bunch, but waves away its importance. 

“It’s not like I was elected or anything,” she says.

Helen was married nearly 60 years. Her late husband, Gustave, like many Upper West Siders, escaped the Holocaust as a young man. In America, he became a renowned psychologist. (He was also the rare man of his generation who insisted on doing the cooking. The result? Helen cannot cook and says she couldn’t care less.)

Helen can often be heard on the bench promoting her son’s upcoming concerts — Jon’s the principal clarinetist of the Orchestra of St. Luke’s, whose home base is the city’s DiMenna Center for Classical Music. She’s also open about what makes her tick, and what ticks her off. A button reading Make Fascism Wrong Again leaves no doubt about the latter.  

Helen insists it was one of the Bench Bunch couples, Richard and Bob, who appointed her president. She says they introduced themselves to her, though others remember Helen initiating first contact.

Regardless, Richard and Bob are considered founding members. Together for half a century, the pair live very active lives; neither was there when I visited the Bench Bunch, though all assured me they are regular participants.

Another couple, Diane and Alan, have been married 62 years. In addition to being UWS fixtures, Diane, a retired teacher, and Alan, a retired physician, are a global presence. The couple has traveled to 136 — or it 137? — countries. (Their favorite, so far? India.)

Marion and Jerry have also lived on the Upper West Side for quite some time — in Marion’s case, the 86 years mentioned earlier. The two have been married 72 years.

“Did you know I was named for the youngest Marx brother’s wife?” Marion asks. She seems amazed that I —  a youngster compared to most of the Bunch —  knows that the Marx brother in question was Zeppo. Recalling her early years in the neighborhood, Marion volunteers that young women used to be warned to stay off UWS side streets. “That was a long time ago,” she adds quickly. “It’s nothing like that now.”

Also in attendance at the daily gatherings are Beth, a marketing professional for 30 years, and her sister, Judy. Much younger than the others, they consider themselves almost adjunct members. 

Let’s not forget the home health aides — Yvette, Tamara, and Lea. Among other things, they ensure the Bunch safely navigates the constant stream that surrounds them: runners, walkers, dogs, baby carriages, horse carriages and pedicabs, as well as every electric conveyance imaginable. 

Bench Bunch members are quick to credit age’s role in bringing them together. Born well before the smart phone, they possess social skills many screenagers lack —  like making eye contact, making an introduction, or making small talk. They know how to reap the rewards of the happy, human collisions that are a critical pleasure of living on the UWS. It comes naturally.

Take Beth’s entry into the group. As Helen tells it, she and Beth met over a wave. Each time they passed in the park they waved, until – after a month of waving to each other – Helen moved closer. Contact was made and a new member joined the budding community.

“In the big city, you can always find a little community,” says Judy.

What do they talk about? The latest success of a star child, even if that child is middle aged (see Jon, above). The arrival of a grandchild. A shared affinity for simply groomed nails. The Bench Bunch bonds over the meaningful and the mundane. 

They also share impressions of an ever-changing Upper West Side. The neighborhood wasn’t always so popular with families, they note – or even popular, in general. Dining has also improved immensely over the years, they add.

Still, while the Bunch is friendly, there is a certain reticence when it comes to revealing their personal pasts. Here are individuals who’ve experienced so much: the best and worst of history and humanity. They’ve built businesses, nurtured future generations, stuck by each other in long-lived marital unions. 

Yet, for all they’ve seen, felt and experienced, the group is firmly focused on the here and now, and on the future. 

“Every day, we see the parade of life walking past us,” Helen explains.

“Like those two women, kissing,” points out Diane.

As the days get shorter, darker and colder, the Bunch strategizes how to stay together. “We haven’t done winter yet,” notes Alan. But not staying together is not an option. There’s the sunroom in Diane and Alan’s building – that could be a possible winter gathering place. A solution seems to be coming into focus.

As we wrap, something else comes into focus. In many ways, the vitality of the Bench Bunch mirrors the UWS that nurtures it. In our community, people come together around a park, to admire a new puppy, take delight in a child, share a window display. They are constantly making new, human connections that make life richer and more meaningful.

Perhaps this helps explain the Bunch’s reticence about discussing their personal pasts. 

It is, simply, a bit of unsaid, shared wisdom: Life is best lived looking forward.

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