Win a West Side Rag T-Shirt in our New — and Easiest — Contest

Witty, wry, clever, corny, even facetious — just make them funny.

By Carol Tannenhauser

It’s time for another West Side Rag contest! This time the prize is a limited edition, pre-pandemic West Side Rag T-shirt. We’ll give one each to the writers of the five funniest comments on any story in the coming week, Monday to Sunday. Sounds easy, right? But have you checked out the comments lately? Funny is not their strong suit. You can’t imagine how it is for our moderators to come upon a clever or laugh-out-loud line — like water to a dying plant! Which brings up a great one that came in from Boris the other day, regarding a story in Openings & Closings about the opening of a new Plant Shed outlet. Commenter ILuvPlants had written, “Another PlantShed location!!!!!!!!!!!!!!” To which Boris replied, “Don’t get too excited or you’ll wet your plants.”

Put something funny or punny in the comments this week. We’ll find it. (And use a real email address.)

Winners can pick up their prizes at West Side Rag’s new offices on West 72nd Street. Supply and sizes are limited, so joke fast.

COLUMNS | 26 comments | permalink


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    1. Jokester says:

      This contest is going to be sooo easy- I’ll definitely win one in a day.

    2. Hugh Epton says:

      Hope the new Plant Shed stocks marijuana plants at least their price will have will include an upside unlike any of the other exorbitant prices.

    3. Nicc says:

      You know things have gotten bad when cranky UWSers are on T(shirt)ime out and need to be bribed to be more lighthearted!

    4. Mitchell says:

      It’s hard to joke first thing in the morning, but are there any plans to sell these? I need this shirt.

    5. jms says:

      I’d feel a lot better about this if the guy on the shirt were still wearing his mask.

    6. Gretchen says:

      Oh, like I need another Rag in my closet! But at least this one is official.

    7. Morgan says:

      Are these shirts available for purchase? Would love to support West Side Rag!

    8. Keith says:

      The prize is a literal West Side Rag. #LeaderInTheClubhouse

    9. Jeff says:

      This makes me think the West Side Rag needs to start selling merch. You could have a tote (West Side bag), a pennant (West Side flag), a baseball t-shirt (West Side raglan), various pet products (West Side wag) and more. Call the online store (and giveaways like this) West Side Swag.

      • West Sider says:


      • jms says:

        That was a very fine West Side gag, Jeff. A few other merchandising ideas suggest themselves:
        • A line of burlesque accoutrements: West Side Drag;
        • A glossy, upscale print publication: West Side Mag;
        • A range of graffiti implements (including paint remover): West Side Tag; &
        • A selection of Adult Products: West Side Shag.

        But if you come out with new t-shirts, please — make the logo guy wear his PPE! (In fact, you could even offer a line of West Side … masks.)

      • Linda E. says:

        Dear Jeff,
        Your suggestion that the West Side Rag consider making merchandise like a tote (bag), pennant (flag), and pet products (wag) is great,
        But don’t you think they also need to make something like a kitchen towel, because that would be, ya know, a West Side…Rag. 🙂

      • SharpeyedLooker says:

        And just keep on bugging them over and over, to get all this started, and you can become…the West Side rag!

    10. uwsider says:

      need this shirt for some bRAGging rights (don’t worry; this is a warm-up, just getting started)

    11. Karen Sutton says:

      I live in Australia and would love to purchase one of your t-shirts. How can I purchase one ?

    12. Funniest Rag Commenter says:

      No need for a contest I will have all 5

    13. Richard says:

      West Side stories reveal the beautiful flowers around us thorns and all.

    14. Dan says:

      The comments on every article have become absurd, mostly bad puns. Good luck sorting through them!

    15. Poetry Rag
      The funniest thing I ever read
      In the West Side Rag is best left unsaid
      There are so many funny stories there
      That to publish mine here is a bit of a dare

      The Rag is so erudite, full of wisdom and knowledge
      That to live on the Upper West Side is a color-blind privilege
      I live in the Bloomingdale district close to the park
      You know, the one you won’t venture into after it’s dark

      So be it for the nonce … I may never write again
      Great works of art can sometimes cause pain
      I wear double X size T shirts in case nobody knows
      And I’ll pick up my winnings next time I go to T Joe’s

      Besides prose the Rag ought to send out a pome or two
      Of UWS poets there are more than a few
      A contest for best, funniest, worst or saddest of pomes
      Ought to keep some folks busy while locked up in their homes

      I’m posting this thing on my WordPress webpage
      In case the Rag don’t include it on their Poetry Page
      I’m not much of a wise man and was never a sage
      But Old Timer’s Poetry and Theater is now all the rage

      Copyright John Crawford 2021 All rights Reserved

    16. italll O says:

      i won 1 million dollars then i fell out of bed and woke up broke