Ruthless Advice for Upper West Siders: The Story Behind Columnist Karen Bergreen’s Hiatus

Editor’s note: For most of this year, guest columnists have been filling in for Karen Bergreen, who—as we’ve indicated in an editor’s note at the top of each column—has been on hiatus. This week, her comedy partner and co-columnist Cindy Kaplan explains.

By Cynthia Kaplan

On Monday, January 5th, I got a call from Dan Alonso, Karen’s husband, whom I know well, but not well enough that he’d call me just to chat. So I asked, “Is she okay?” Dan told me that in the late afternoon on Sunday, just an hour or so after Karen and I finished writing our Ruthless Advice column on the phone—which we do because it’s the most fun that way—Karen was hit by a car as she crossed Lexington Avenue near Bloomingdale’s.

I put my hand over my gaping mouth the way people do in the movies and I will never again think that gesture looks fake.

She had been in the crosswalk, with the light, just about halfway through her daily big walk, an exercise must for her. She was knocked to the pavement, sustaining a traumatic brain injury and a broken leg.

That night, neurosurgeons at New York Presbyterian Hospital/Weill-Cornell Medical Center saved her life, marking the start of a long road to recovery. After five weeks in the ICU and several more in a step-down unit, Karen moved to an acute inpatient rehabilitation hospital where every day she has hours of therapy. I am endlessly amazed by her bravery and perseverance.

I can’t tell you how much I wanted to bury this lede. In fact, I’ve been burying it since our February 3rd column came out with an editor’s note explaining that Karen was on hiatus and there would be a guest columnist filling in. Karen is on hiatus, just not the kind anyone would want. The decision to use that expression was made by our WSR editors and me in order to protect Karen’s privacy during a time when she was incredibly vulnerable. I also think it implies the possibility of return.

I know that you have missed Karen’s voice. Her advice is honest, practical, and slyly judgemental, which is a key element of her sense of humor. If you also know the two of us from the Ruthless Comedy Hour, our monthly variety show at New York Comedy Club, then you’ll have an even better sense of her, and I would not be surprised if you are secretly dying to be her close, personal friend. Karen regularly appeared in clubs around the city and the country, she is beloved by fellow comedians, and she is renowned for her kindness and mentorship of young comics.

Sharing a stage with her these past 12 years has been one of my greatest joys, though on more than one occasion she has insisted on dragging me to some place far afield, like upstate New York, whereupon arriving we immediately realize our politics are very, very wrong and we might just have to cool it. I regularly repeat her punchlines in my daily life, mimicking her hilarious cadence, because it gives me pleasure. My Ruthless Advice to everyone this week is to Google Karen Bergreen, watch her videos on YouTube and Drybar, and go out and buy her wonderful novels, Following Polly and Perfect is Overrated.

Being Karen’s friend is another of my great joys and, some time back, I began referring to her both on stage and off as my comedy wife. Occasionally, people in the audience think she is my actual wife, which I don’t mind. I particularly love how she ends every phone call with “You’re the best.” Well, it turns out she says that at the end of phone calls with all her close friends. But I’m her only wife.

Until now there has been just a small group involved with Karen’s care. Dan and their two sons, along with Dan’s sister Jennifer, who, as luck would have it, is herself an ICU nurse, are nothing short of heroic in their love, support and advocacy for Karen. They make sure that she is getting the best of everything. She also has the love and support of the most loyal and dedicated friends, and I’m very proud to share “You’re the best” with them. Recently, Dan decided it was time to let her wider circle of friends, her students, and her community know what happened, so he wrote a post on her Facebook page. I am writing to you.

Oh, how Karen and I love our column and love being on the staff of the small but mighty West Side Rag. I hope it will not be too long before she is back offering you her brilliantly inexpert advice. In the meantime, I want to thank you for welcoming the many friends and colleagues who have stepped in to advise you with no credentials whatsoever, particularly Otis, to whom I’ll admit I’m partial.

I know many of you will want to send good wishes to Karen and her family. She also appreciates snack suggestions. No one loves snacks like Karen. In fact, no one loves the word “snack” like Karen. Feel free to write to her in the comments section. I will read her every single one.

Karen Bergreen and Cynthia Kaplan are the co-creators of The Ruthless Comedy Hour, a comedy variety show for grownups with brains. In its 12th year, it features top stand-up comedians musicians and celebrity interviews, and addresses social, political, and local concerns by making brutal fun of them. Bergreen is a veteran stand-up comedian and author of two acclaimed novels. Kaplan tours extensively with her comedy rock band, The Cynthia Kaplan Ordeal, and is the author of two just as acclaimed collections of humorous essays.

Got a question in need of ruthless advice? Email Ruthless at info@westsiderag.com.

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