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Here Are the Winners of the WSR T-Shirt Contest For Best New Absolute Bagels Name

March 17, 2026 | 5:17 PM
in NEWS
0
The different iterations of Absolute Bagels.

By West Side Rag

Earlier this month, West Side Rag put out the call for the best alternative new name for Absolute Bagels, which was recently renamed to 2788 Broadway.

You did not disappoint.

WSR received more than 350 comments with hundreds of name submission possibilities. Thank you to everyone who submitted their idea and who cast their votes in the comments.

Given the number of submission, we’ve decided to crown three winners.

Without further ado.

Our first winner is Jacob with Relative Bagels.

The submission received the most upvotes of any comment with 66 and is a great play on the old name.

Our second winner is Nicole with Absolutely Not Absolute Bagels.

And our third winner is Lee with Hole Foods. Importantly, not Whole Foods.

Honorable mentions include:

  • Absolutely Bagels
  • Bagel Schmagel
  • Bloomingdale Bagels
  • Definite Bagels
  • Not Absolute Bagels
  • Positively Bagels
  • Resolute Bagels
  • Strauss Park Bagels
  • Ultimate Bagels

If you are one of the three winners, please look out for an email Wednesday morning from info@westsiderag.com to the address that you used to write the comment. WSR T-shirts and other swag are in your near future.

Subscribe to West Side Rag’s FREE email newsletter here. And you can Support the Rag here.

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Please limit comments to 150 words and keep them civil and relevant to the article at hand. Comments are closed after six days. Our primary goal is to create a safe and respectful space where a broad spectrum of voices can be heard. We welcome diverse viewpoints and encourage readers to engage critically with one another’s ideas, but never at the expense of civility. Disagreement is expected—even encouraged—but it must be expressed with care and consideration. Comments that take cheap shots, escalate conflict, or veer into ideological warfare detract from the constructive spirit we aim to cultivate. A detailed statement on comments and WSR policy can be read here.

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