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Here’s to the Upper West Side — Making Us Wait, Making Us Better

May 3, 2025 | 8:38 AM
in COLUMNS, OPEN/CLOSED
23
Photographs by Yvonne Vávra.

 By Yvonne Vávra

Upper West Siders have spent a lot of time waiting — whether it’s for Wegmans, the decades-long Metro Theater saga to finally culminate in some sort of opening ceremony (at this point, any ceremony will do), or for answers to our burning Absolute Bagels questions: Who’s behind the “New Absolute Bagel” signage at the storefront of the shuttered icon? How absolutely excited should we allow ourselves to get?

Sometimes, patience really does pay off — as it did for the woman who waited over a decade for justice after her fateful encounter with fish guts outside Citarella on 75th Street and Broadway. She slipped on the ocean goo in the summer of 2014, twisting her knee and flipping her life upside down. The fall cost the salsa dancer multiple surgeries and her way back to the dance floor. But two weeks ago, finally, a Manhattan jury awarded her $6.45 million.

Remember when we spent nearly a decade wondering if the rumors about Kossar’s coming to the Upper West Side were true? They were. Almost exactly a year ago, the famous bagels and bialys bakery finally opened at the corner of West 72nd Street and West End Avenue, rewarding our patience with authentic recipes straight from 17th-century Eastern Europe. And as if to make up for lost time, they’ve just opened a second outpost on West End Avenue between 61st and 62nd Streets.

Waiting feels inherently uncomfortable. Sometimes even painful, like for the residents of West 91st Street, who were plagued by a constant high-pitched ringing noise and had to wait over a week for it to stop. In waiting, time seems to pass in relation to some point in the future, trapping us in an in-between state with many unknowns and little to hold on to. Our brains are wired to seek predictability, so being stuck in limbo feels unnatural. Waiting does nothing but remind us that we want something we don’t have yet — and reveal how we fool ourselves into thinking we control our lives.

When will Wegmans come?

So please excuse the frustration over being mocked by these juicy, beach ball-sized chicken chunks on display in the windows of the former Bed Bath & Beyond at the corner of Broadway and 65th Street. We’ve been teased with the promise of Wegmans moving into that space for nearly a year now — official signage went up last June. Why are these protein props still trying to get us excited? Instead of living our best shopping life, we’re at the mercy of an opening that’s playing hard to get. Someone on the Upper West Side board on Reddit claims they’ve heard from inside sources that it might not happen for a few more years. Years?! Enough with the grocery games. Let us in already!

Look, we’re not great at waiting. But maybe that’s for the best, because not getting what we want right away can actually be pretty amazing.

I grew up in East Berlin, behind the Wall — a place where getting what you wanted was rare, let alone getting it when you wanted it. The average wait time for a Trabant, our miraculous little car made of plastic reinforced with recycled cotton, was ten to fifteen years. Some East Germans are technically still waiting, because when the Wall fell, so did the Trabant.

Growing up in an economy that wasn’t built to fulfill your every need, I got to know the joys of anticipation. As a kid, I was obsessed with cornflakes. Mostly because I hardly ever had any. Once in a blue moon, you’d spot a bag in someone’s cart at the supermarket. That’s when you’d pick up the pace — determined but casual. No need to alert the others that there was something worth grabbing. On those rare, golden days, when I got my hands on cornflakes, I found true happiness in the cereal aisle.

Now? Now there’s cereal as far as the eye can see. Cornflakes now? Meh. What’s so brilliant about toasted maize anyway? What’s so great about anything when you can have it all the time?

We’ve gotten used to instant gratification, but we’re missing out. Because longing gives us time to reflect on why we want something, imagine how it might feel, get emotionally invested. By the time the moment comes, it’s not just cornflakes anymore. It’s a grand finale.

So let’s take a moment to thank the Metro Theater on Broadway between West 99th and 100th streets for the thrill. The ache. The wait. It’s held us in epic anticipation since May 2011, when the Rag first reported that something new was coming to the historic 1933 theater, which had closed in 2005. Since then, we’ve patiently weathered years of rumors about various scenarios for a Metro reopening. Years of hopes raised, then dashed. Last month, the Rag announced: The Metro will reopen as a cinema arts and education center. Well. Let’s wait. But when that day really comes? It’ll feel like cornflakes back in the day.

If it’s any consolation, all this waiting might actually be good for us. Studies show that patient people experience less depression and are better equipped to cope with difficult situations. They feel more connected to others and are generally happier and more satisfied with their lives. So here’s to the Upper West Side — for giving us plenty of opportunities to practice patience. We’ve got this down.

Yvonne Vávra is a magazine writer and author of the German book 111 Gründe New York zu lieben (111 Reasons to Love New York). Born a Berliner but an aspiring Upper West Sider since the 1990s (thanks, Nora Ephron), she came to New York in 2010 and seven years later made her Upper West Side dreams come true. She’s been obsessively walking the neighborhood ever since.

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23 Comments
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neighbor785
neighbor785
19 days ago

Yvonne, you may be the 112th reason to love New York! Thank you for your insightful columns.

32
Reply
Tracy
Tracy
19 days ago

Smart, humorous, positive and wise. Reminiscent of The New Yorker in its heyday. More Yvonne Vavra, please!

21
Reply
Edith Tyson
Edith Tyson
18 days ago
Reply to  Tracy

Couldn’t agree more!

4
Reply
Ruby in Manhattan
Ruby in Manhattan
19 days ago

Yvonne, you write so lyrically yet you’re so down to earth. We’ve been patiently waiting for you for years!

14
Reply
Ulrike Klopfer
Ulrike Klopfer
19 days ago

Ha! Ich komme auch aus Ost Deutschland, aber might Berlin. Have in Leuna nie von einem Trabant gehoert. Aber das war vor 1950.

1
Reply
Marjorie
Marjorie
19 days ago

Delightful article. Now, a certain age, I actually wait for the “walk” signal. Now I’ll savor it. Thank you, Yvonne.

10
Reply
Manhattan parent
Manhattan parent
17 days ago
Reply to  Marjorie

Great comment to a great article.

3
Reply
dannyb
dannyb
19 days ago

One of the smartest and most cost effective policies we (the West) utilized in winning (well, for a while) the “Cold War” was the immense amount of money and resources we poured into West Berlin.
Most people on the other side of the Wall were hungry, living in piss-poor housing, broken windows, etc.
They’d look to their Western neighbors and see working streetlights, good homes, supermarkets, and even.. people coming out of restaurants and spilling food on sidewalks.
(obligatory WSR reference: I first saw this referenced in an Isaac Asimov column)

4
Reply
Kiki
Kiki
19 days ago
Reply to  dannyb

My mother and her entire family lived in east germany – while they didn’t have the glamour of the west, they also had much they were proud of: homelessness was nearly zero, and no one went hungry because everyday grocery items were subsidized and extremely affordable. Yes, supplies were limited, but folks were smart and innovative with what they had. When my grandfather first came to visit us in NYC, he was horrified by how many people were forced to live on the streets in one of the wealthiest cities in the world.

Yes, there were serious issues in east germany – the restriction of borders, of the press, no one being allowed to leave the east, the spying of neighbors against one another. Options were limited – my mom couldn’t buy the adidas she dreamed of. But to say people were piss poor and had broken windows is incorrect.

Here in the US in 2025, the wealth gap is horrendous: in nyc, there are folks with full time jobs living in homeless shelters while condos are empty, purchased as mere investment. This is shameful and horrible. We could learn from the good parts of the ideology of east germany, where everyone had food and a home.

14
Reply
malt
malt
17 days ago
Reply to  Kiki

I recall a profile about Angela Merkel which discussed that growing up in East Germany without exposure to “consumerism” and constant “media objectification” helped allow her to focus on school and fostered an outlook of practicality.

5
Reply
Manhattan parent
Manhattan parent
17 days ago
Reply to  Kiki

Can’t agree more. Thank you.

6
Reply
Ron Wasserman
Ron Wasserman
19 days ago

I’m skeptical the Metro can ever become a profitable (or non-profitable) success. They might have raised the money to buy the building, but raising the money to start the arts center is another issue.
Symphony space, right down the street, is in an eternal $struggle.$

2
Reply
Sally
Sally
19 days ago
Reply to  Ron Wasserman

Ron, as a major donor, I can assure you–it’s going to happen! 🙂

Last edited 19 days ago by Sally
4
Reply
Nora
Nora
19 days ago

I hear there’s a bakery coming near where The Silver Moon was. Is this true.

0
Reply
Kiki
Kiki
19 days ago

A beautiful article. I felt this longing when covid-19 first broke out – a longing for dinners w family, for late nights at a friend’s place, for meeting new people and seeing old ones. Even the conversation at the grocery store check out became little joys, asking someone how they are doing, hearing about their day. The loneliness was achey and dreary. Then, I remember having the same realization as in the article, that instead of being impatient and anxious for a return to the days before a pandemic, I should appreciate that it means I have something close to my heart to long for.

My mom grew up in east germany and I grew up walking to elementary school with her in nyc, always asking her for another story of the Trabants, the grocery stores, her tiny town, her school days, the clothes she would hand sew from fabric at factory where my great-grandma worked.
I’ll channel the patience and will continue to long for absolute bagels and the metro theater!

6
Reply
Jan
Jan
18 days ago

As a VERY ‘low income’ person my whole life (it seems), well, I’m used to looking forward to things that will never come. I have learned to enjoy LOOKING FORWARD TO….. A funny thing — someone I know told me that if there’s reincarnation, he hopes to come back as a NYC dog — they seem to have a more luxurious life than he does! Woof!

3
Reply
Mark
Mark
18 days ago

Cornflake Girl. Your essays are irresistibly readable. Thank you!

1
Reply
Jay
Jay
18 days ago

A smile relieves a heart that grieves
Remember what I said
I’m not waiting on a lady
I’m just waiting on a friend
Just waiting on a friend
I’m just waiting on a friend
I’m just waiting on a friend

Omitted: the racier verses of the Stones song.

1
Reply
Sarah
Sarah
18 days ago
Reply to  Jay

He’s never early, he’s always late
First thing you learn is that you’ve always gotta wait

0
Reply
Ann O’Shea
Ann O’Shea
18 days ago

Wonderful piece! Captures the New Yorker’s angst and the redemptive power of having to wait. Bravo!

2
Reply
Edith Tyson
Edith Tyson
18 days ago

Yvonne, I love this! So insightful, informative, part funny and part touching. It winds to unexpected places. You are such a talented writer and observer!

3
Reply
Virvir
Virvir
18 days ago

Beautiful essay, Ms. Vavra. So wise and true.

2
Reply
Virgil Thompson
Virgil Thompson
16 days ago

If you pace your walking according to the stoplights, you don’t have to rush, and the light will be green when you get there. If you rush, you’ll just have to wait through the endless red light. Rats don’t have to race.

1
Reply

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