How To Have A Neighborhood Affair — Just You and Your Upper West Side

 By Yvonne Vávra

“Where are your favorite spots to take yourself on a dinner date?” someone asked last week on the Upper West Side board on the social platform Reddit. Many neighbors chimed in, suggesting places like French Roast, Cafe Luxembourg, Effy’s Cafe, Leyla, Le Monde, and many more. How lovely it would be if all these solo diners came together for a feast squad, I thought. But then I caught myself. I hadn’t paid attention and let that outdated societal bias creep in, linking being alone with loneliness and the idea of missing out and it not being a choice. If only that lone diner had someone to join them! But that Upper West Sider wasn’t looking for company; they were seeking the best spots to enjoy a meal in solitude.

Having a quiet rendezvous with the neighborhood — just you and your Upper West Side, not even your cellphone is invited — is one of the most satisfying ways to its heart. While spending time with others is enjoyable, it often keeps your attention focused on the interaction. But exploring solo frees you to be fully present, to engage all your senses, and to remain open to whatever comes your way. “There is excitement ever running its streets,” wrote author and Upper West Sider Dorothy Parker in 1928. “Each day, as you go out, you feel the little nervous quiver that is yours when you sit in the theater just before the curtain rises.” When you’re on your own and not yet spoken for, the city will take center stage and dance just for you.

My personal favorite solo venture is walking up and down the avenues. On Columbus, I love watching how the neighborhood shifts from one face to another — from a boutique lover and fine diner to a wide-eyed tourist, then morphing into a laid-back European on a lazy afternoon, only to suddenly plunge back into the city’s relentless hustle. Amazing how the boulevard holds it all together, eager to please.

On Broadway and 71st, a troubled-looking cherub catches my eye and draws it upward into the architectural palooza of the Dorilton. Sculptures, columns, curved bay windows, balconies with all kinds of balustrades, ornaments galore, capped by a mansard roof on top — the Dorilton’s got it all. Good grief, there are musclemen groaning under the weight of the balconies! Someone was feeling generous in the drafting room.

With another person by my side, I might have missed the full spectacle.

I also might never have known that it’s virtually impossible to walk an Upper West Side block without meeting at least one dog, that some buildings on the more upscale stretches still have a light bulb out front for the doormen to turn on when a resident needs a cab, or that the scent of Crumbl cookies cuts through the notorious New York air for nearly a full block around 74th and Columbus. I might have never noticed the ghost sign across the street from the cookie shop, atop 302 Columbus Avenue, which takes us back to the time when Upper West Sider James Madison Horton ran a branch of the J.M. Horton Ice Cream Company on the site. Back in its heyday, at the turn of the 19th century, it supplied more than half of New York’s ice cream, and the signage high up on the pediment was designed to catch the attention of passengers riding the Ninth Avenue El (you can see a picture of the old elevated train here).

One time, I saw a turtle laying eggs, right smack in the middle of a Central Park lawn. I spotted it from far away, almost unconsciously. Something in the grass was moving oddly, and I was pulled toward the truly magical scene. Moments like these reveal themselves only when you’ve lost yourself and become fully immersed in your surroundings. But you can only get lost when there’s nobody around to remind you who and where you are. When it’s just my neighborhood and me, I feel like I’m connecting to its essence. That bond is what you’ll find when you allow yourself to get lost.

Another Upper West Sider who cherished his solitude was Edgar Allan Poe. In his time, our neighborhood was — like anything north of 14th Street — the countryside. Nothing but farmland, ponds, and fresh air. Still, when Poe needed more alone time, he wandered from the farmhouse he lived in around what is now 84th Street near Broadway over to a massive rock in the forest. He called it Mount Tom, after the son of the farmhouse’s owner. According to Poe’s biography, he would sit there alone for hours, gazing at the Hudson, possibly reflecting on ravens.

Sitting on Mount Tom in Riverside Park, which can be found at the end of 83rd Street, is a great way to spend quality time with the neighborhood. Another is to visit our libraries, community gardens, or bookstores. Do like my friend and go on a quest for the perfect cheese, not leaving out a single store. Or find your favorite park bench and watch what the people are up to. Many before you have found theirs, as the thousands of dedicated bench plaques tell. Whatever your one-on-one with the Upper West Side may be, may it include a feast at a table for one. And after all those moments of quiet discovery, when you’ve made the neighborhood your own, the joy of sharing it with others will be waiting for you. After all, another great way to connect with the city is through the stories you tell.

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Yvonne Vávra is a magazine writer and author of the German book 111 Gründe New York zu lieben (111 Reasons to Love New York). Born a Berliner but an aspiring Upper West Sider since the 1990s (thanks, Meg Ryan and Tom Hanks), she came to New York in 2010 and seven years later made her Upper West Side dreams come true. She’s been obsessively walking the neighborhood ever since.

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