By Karen Bergreen and Cynthia Kaplan

Hello again from your hyper-local Ruthless Advice columnists Karen and Cindy! We realize some of you are deeply concerned with the future of democracy and may not think to seek advice on more mundane matters, while others need advice no matter the travails of the wider world. We are here for all of you and will continue to be so, even if we have emigrated to Mustique by mid-November.

Kindly send your dilemmas to Info@westsiderag.com, subject line, Ruthless, and we will employ our universal lack of expertise to solve them.

Dear Ruthless,

I’d love to hear you guys address whether parents should insist on using Life360 [a location tracking app] for college students over 18, not with their consent necessarily, but under duress?

Signed,

JY

Dear JY,

KAREN: If it were up to me, my college-aged kids would be microchipped and equipped with a security detail, but alas that’s not what is done. I’ve noticed that many parents choose to spy on their kids without their consent but it’s not fully reliable. I got my kids to agree to share their locations with me as long as I share mine with them. Be aware, however, that crafty teens can easily circumvent tracking apps by separating themselves from their devices.

CINDY: I feel much better when I don’t know where they are and what they are doing all the time. I’m already on Facebook and X and that’s enough people to keep track of.

Dear Ruthless,

I have a house guest who won’t leave. She came for what she said was a weekend to catch up and see shows, but it’s Monday afternoon and as far as I’m concerned, the weekend is over.

Signed,

Annoyed

Dear Annoyed,

KAREN: I suggest you needlepoint a pillow with one of my favorite Ben Franklin sayings: Guests, like fish, begin to smell after three days.

CINDY: Strip the bed and eighty-six the towels.

Dear Ruthless,

My mother-in-law bought me a sweater I will never wear and can’t return. Do I need to wear it in front of her? I hate how I look in it.

Signed,

Amanda

Dear Amanda,

CINDY: Over the years, my mother-in-law, a thoughtful and generous person, has bought me all manner of gifts, the pinnacle (or nadir) being a white, pearl covered beret that I believe she may have bought for herself (she loves sparkle; I do not) and given to me when she found herself short a Hanukkah gift. I shall not wear this publicly. However, I recommend wearing all gifts, especially a pearl encrusted beret, at least once to please your MIL with the added benefit of her seeing how terrible it looks on you.

KAREN: You need to wear the sweater. And often. Unless you loathe your spouse, in which case, you can re-gift it back to your mother-in-law for the next family celebration.

Dear Ruthless,

I go out to walk my dog in Central Park every morning and socialize with lots of people. There’s one very sweet woman who always approaches me with her big, shaggy Sheepdog. The problem is, the dog drools…I mean really drools…and I can’t bring myself to stay and talk to her. I’m afraid she feels rejected. I’ve thought of telling her my problem. Should I?

Signed,

Squeamish

Dear Squeamish,

KAREN: First of all, I love a sheepdog, but that doesn’t necessarily influence my answer. Second, and more importantly, you should spend as much time with that dog as possible. There will be a time when your human loved ones drool…I mean really drool…and you need to prepare yourself.

CINDY: If the dog drools all over you, he/she/they drool all over everyone else, including the owners. It will not be a news flash to let them know that you are trying to preserve your outfit for the day. Or wear coveralls and delight in the sheepdog and a new friendship.

Dear Ruthless,

Is it evil to feel a sense of schadenfreude over the indictment of Mayor Adams?

Signed,

Possibly Evil Person

Dear Possibly Evil Person,

CINDY: No.

KAREN: I’m guessing your real name is Bill de Blasio.

See previous Ruthless Advice HERE.

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