Pupper West Side: Maggie Reports On Life In Exile, Holiday Mischief

By: A. Campbell


Age: 5 years old.

Breed: Most people think I’m a golden retriever but I’m actually a comfort retriever. Exotic, eh? I’m a mix between a golden retriever and a miniature poodle. My Mom said she felt uncomfortable with the idea of me being a purebred dog and the vet reassured her by simply saying, “She’s a mutt.”

Profile/history: My parents thought I’d be on the smaller side because of my breed –  maybe 25 – 45 lbs – but I ended up growing into a full golden retriever size – about 70 lbs. My size allows me to run and play with all my hefty city friends like Bailey and Brinkley – both Bernese Mountain Dogs – and my buddies Goldie, Scamper, and Popcorn.

Daily routine: I’ve spent my entire life as a city dog, but these days I’m living in exile. In the country, no less! Call me Napoleon because it is positively frightening out here. There are chipmunks and deer. And it’s just so quiet. How am I supposed to fall asleep without sirens and car horns, or the occasional fireworks display? Here it’s all fresh gentle breezes and chirping crickets. I simply cannot relax. Anyway, my parents and I decided to leave the city when Covid hit in order to be extra careful about our health concerns. We miss our friends and neighbors, and look forward to returning soon, but we may need to wait a bit longer. In the meantime, I’m trying to find some joy in our daily routine. Mom is an early riser and she’ll make breakfast for the two of us and then work for a few hours before the sun comes up. Then we’ll head outside together to play catch in the bay. I’m a champion swimmer, so I love chasing the ball into the water. It’s been months, but I finally met a potential new friend: Marshall, a lab. He seems nice, but nothing compares to the Upper West Side!

Loves: My parents, of course. Also belly rubs.

Does not love: Pools. I love open water. I embrace the high seas! But pools are not to my liking.

Favorite store/business on the UWS: I had a long love affair with the former Pet Health store on Amsterdam Avenue between W. 82nd and W. 83rd. Ever since it closed last fall, I’ve mostly just spent time in Central Park.

Favorite treat: If it’s edible, it’s my favorite!

Favorite park spot: I love romping around in the meadow right off the 81st Street entrance to Central Park. That’s where I meet all my friends. Don’t forget about me, guys!

What is your favorite holiday? Well, I love any holiday that involves lots of chaotic meal preparation and cooking, because those are the holidays where bits of food are most likely to fall to the floor. Taking the turkey out of the oven for a temperature check? Maybe some drippings slosh over the side of the roasting pan. Checking off your list of items and ingredients for a Passover seder? Maybe I’ll just sneak a bit of this crumbled matzo that no one will miss. Celebrating our forefathers with a July 4th cookout? Don’t worry! I’m happy to help finish that last discarded bite of hot dog and bun.

Read all our Pupper West Side interviews here!

If West Side Rag readers are interested in becoming pet owners, we encourage you to consider adopting or volunteering to be a foster parent with one of the many shelters and nonprofits based in and around New York City. These include but aren’t limited to: Muddy Paws RescueAnimal Lighthouse RescueAnimal Care Centers of NYCNYC ASPCAHumane Society of New YorkBideaweeSocial Tees; Badass Brooklyn Animal Rescue and Animal Haven.

COLUMNS | 6 comments | permalink
    1. michael says:

      Maggie is my dog’s best friend. We love her so much.

      And her parents are cool too.

    2. joseph hanania says:

      Great story! Had me laughing and wanting to meet Maggie when she gets back.

    3. JS says:

      I know Maggie and that sounds just like her. She’s a great dog.

    4. West 90th Street Jeff says:

      Maggie should bring her people back home. We also fled to spaces far and wide as far back as last March. With the passage of time, the UWS became far safer and the local safe havens to which we fled starting becoming less so. No matter where you go, every intelligent dog owner and non-dog owner wears a mask. Might as well come back home now. Your friends miss you, too.

    5. Sg says:

      One of my favorite columns of the WSR…it’s great to get to know the neighborhood pups. I’m confident that Maggie’s friends won’t forget her!

    6. Lorene Farnsworth says:

      Lol, so funny Maggie can’t fall asleep without city noises. Such a beautiful dog, hope you get to come home soon, Maggie!