The Mitchum Star Guide for Upper West Side Pizza

By Bob Eckstein

Named after the actor Robert Mitchum, who famously loved pizza and beer, earning a Mitchum Star has always been elusive, especially since I just made it up. Yet speak to any pizza establishment on the Upper West Side and you’ll get blank stares.

Me and my culinary spy companion, Rich Robbins, reward pizza establishments with either three, two, one, or no Mitchum Stars. I am a New Yorker cartoonist and author. From 1998 to 2004, I ate only pizza, bananas, and Met-Rx bars. Rich is an active member of the Upper West Side community, comes from a pedigree of food critics (Rich’s daughter wrote food columns for WSR) and was once famously quoted, “Pizza is like jazz—even if it’s not world class, it’s still great.” Before we started, we each tried to get physicals and approvals from our respective doctors. We are planning to eat as much pizza as possible, anyway.

Our evaluation process, one would think, would be based on quality, technique, mastery of flavor, and consistency. That’s the Michelin Star. A Mitchum Star is really about two simple intangibles; What is the pizza’s personality? How many pizza joints would you pass to get to this place?

We focused on three noted pizza destinations, which often find themselves in the thick of the who-is-the-greatest-slice-on-the-Upper-West-Side debate. Sal & Carmine Pizza, Bosino, and Mama’s TOO.

To not call attention to our mission and receive any special treatment, we acted as normal customers—this is often the hardest part of our job for us. To remain anonymous, we took on fake names. Rich used my name, and I, his (and we sometimes wear disguises).

Bosino was kind enough to let Rich (me) and myself (now Rich) bring slices from outside pizza establishments to conduct our lab work. Again, to not call attention to ourselves, we ate the pizza like humans, instead of doing it the official tasting way, of taking two bites and spitting it out.

Sal & Carmine Pizza (2671 Broadway): We agreed, we should see it as it’s own thing, utility pizza. It is tasty enough, a filling meal, and just trying to be pizza. We should add, we hate when pizza connoisseurs pontificate about sauce, crust, blah, blah, blah. So, we’re not. That said, this pizza is like an old friend. We are awarding it two stars, one for Sal. And one for Carmine. (Neither are there anymore.) ⭐️⭐️

Bosino (201 W 103rd St.):  Of the three locations, this is the place you would want to sit down to eat and not take out. Even the chef, Davide, acknowledged that ordering pie is a different playing field than getting a slice. Expectations are different. While recognizing Bosino’s home-field advantage, the pizza is just better. This pizza tasted homemade, fresh, and even smelled great. We gave it three Mitchum Stars because three is the most we give. ⭐️⭐️⭐️

Mama’s TOO (2750 Broadway): The best thing about Mama’s TOO is you can keep going back and not get tired of eating pizza there. They have a spectacular range of choices you can clearly see and most everything looks irresistible. The Bruschetta Sicilian slice, an unpredictable, delightful blend of flavors, was much better than their House Slice. ⭐️⭐️ 1/2

We will leave it at that and concludes us handing out our first Mitchum Stars—who needs to read more about pizza? As a famous Upper West Sider once said, “You’re all winners.” The only thing we know for sure is that there will be a lot of angry, and passionate, responses on the WSR comment board.

About the cartoonist: Bob Eckstein is a writer, illustrator, author, and contributor of cartoons to The New Yorker and West Side Rag. Check out his popular newsletter, The Bob, and Read the Rag’s Q & A with him — HERE.

See all WSR Cartoons — HERE.

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