By Ann Cooper

When comedians Karen Bergreen and Cynthia Kaplan first did a cold reading of comments from a West Side Rag story to end their routine at an Upper West Side club a few years back, “the audience went insane,” says Bergreen. “And we started getting a following because of the comments section.”

Kaplan and Bergreen, who together are an Upper West Side team called Ruthless Comedy Hour, have been reading Rag comments to close out each performance ever since.

They’re not sure, but they think the first Rag comments they read on stage might have been the ones posted on a story about Cynthia Nixon’s decidedly unorthodox bagel combination (cinnamon raisin with lox, capers, onions and tomato – you probably know the reaction, but the comments are worth a read anyway).

So how do the Ruthless comedians decide which comments go into their act? Bergreen says a bizarre turn in the comment conversation will grab her attention, “when somebody will take a comment about traffic and turn it into, like, a conspiracy theory.” Or, “when they attribute something huge to a small event.”

She and Kaplan pointed me to one of their all-time favorite comment collections, on a 2020 story about New York state’s ban on single-use plastic bags. Commenters were off and running with vigorous complaints about the new rule. But what Kaplan and Bergreen liked about this one were the detours some writers took, to denounce Donald Trump and his immigration policies, or to poke fun at men who puzzled over how they could carry reusable bags when they go shopping.

“It was typical human insanity,” said Kaplan, who added that she and her comedy partner also are amused “when people become know-it-alls and start to list statistics. Or they get hyperpersonal, or they feel like they have inside information.”

She might have had in mind one of the plastic bag commenters who went after another writer for shopping at Gristedes:

“You buy salmon at Gristedes?” asked the incredulous responder. “I don’t even shop at that garbage dump, but to buy salmon there seems like flying too close to the sun.”

Also funny, said Kaplan: “When people blame other people. Like, in the middle of something, someone will say, ‘It’s Gale Brewer’s fault.’” (The Rag hasn’t kept statistics on this, but if we did it seems pretty likely they would show City Councilmember Brewer is the political scapegoat-of-choice for Rag commenters.)

If you’re a regular commenter and this is starting to sound like two funny women who love the Upper West Side are poking fun at you, Kaplan and Bergreen want you to know that isn’t so.

“We are in no way mocking the commenters. We love the commenters,” Bergreen said.

Comments are “just a wonderful picture of human nature,” said Kaplan. “We’re laughing because I think people see themselves in the comments.” That, she said, includes herself and Bergreen.

Audiences also see familiar neighborhood landmarks in the show’s comments routine. “We’re talking about, like, the Town Shop, or Zabar’s, or some very local thing,” said Kaplan. “It’s like going to a concert and hearing an artist sing a favorite song.”

Kaplan and Bergreen have each been doing comedy for twenty-plus years. They met ten or so years ago when Kaplan was organizing a comedy fundraiser for her child’s school; someone suggested she invite Bergreen to perform. Both have separate performing schedules and a variety of other professional pursuits. Bergreen does solo standup, teaches comedy, and writes novels; Kaplan writes humorous essays, is a script doctor, and tours with her comedy rock band.

Together, they have performed their comedy variety act with guests at UWS venues, including Stand Up NY on West 78th Street, where they usually appeared monthly until the club moved to midtown earlier this year. Bergreen and Kaplan didn’t move with the club; they say they are keeping their act on the UWS and hope to resume regular Ruthless Comedy Hour performances this fall at NY Comedy Club. And yes, they will continue to close the show with dramatic readings of Rag comments. Here’s one they did in March.

I wondered whether Kaplan or Bergreen had ever written their own comments on Rag stories. Answer: no. “I think it’s a bridge too far,” said Bergreen. “And we don’t want to touch something that’s pure.”

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