Lincoln Center Hosts a Very Special Wedding for 800

By Charlotte Robertson 

Couples young and old, sporting lacy white gowns, sherwanis (traditional South Asian wedding coats), satin yarmulkes, feathered hats, pink prom dresses, pastel blazers, and long, pleated skirts gathered outside of David Geffen Hall at Lincoln Center Saturday evening for The Wedding: New York’s Biggest Day, a pandemic-era event that has endured and flourished even as COVID-19 has receded.

The Wedding, first staged in 2022 as a celebration for engaged couples whose wedding plans were canceled or restricted due to COVID-19, now appears to be a fixture in Lincoln Center’s Summer for the City free events. As described by Chief Artistic Officer Shanta Thake, this “dream ceremony” exists to honor communal love. Financed by individual, local, and state donations, this year’s event drew 800 participants — double the number who showed up at the first ceremony in 2022. “It’s this epic New York day where you get to see all of this variety of humanity coming together,” Thake told West Side Rag. 

Each couple received four items: “something old” (the lyrics to Richard Strauss’ “Morgen!,” a love song later performed at the ceremony); “something new” (the event schedule); “something borrowed” (a bouquet of flowers); and “something blue” (a ribbon). The “borrowed” item may have been a bit of a stretch, acknowledged staff member Meghen McGill: “We like to think that the flowers are borrowed from the Earth.” 

Once inside the hall, guests could get bridal henna markings on their hands, make floral crowns for each other with plastic rosebuds, or visit a table for a tarot love reading. Makeup artists from Sephora provided touch-ups, and an artist sketched quick wedding portraits. New York Life promoted its insurance services with glow sticks, branded tissues, and beaded necklaces. Most popular was the 360-degree photo booth that captured videos of each couple grooving to “September” and “Dancing Queen.” 

In the crowd were many couples renewing their vows. Margaret and George (like all the guests I spoke with, they only wanted to give first names) have been married for almost 21 years. They met in the Virgin Islands, where Margaret was teaching swing dance and George was taking a meditative vacation. As I snapped their picture out on the balcony, Margaret, a natural diva in front of the camera, kicked up her legs and brushed her silver hair. They told me about their double-feature wedding, celebrated with friends and family upstate at two separate ceremonies, three months apart. “We used all our money on that, but it was nice. It was worth it,” Margaret said. 

Andy and Lucas, originally from Colombia and Argentina, respectively, wanted to renew their two-year-old vows in honor of their recent move to New York City. The couple was dressed in a near-matching combination of shorts, shirt, and sneakers, plus DIY flower crowns. 

Joanna and Jason attended to commemorate their 20th wedding anniversary, bringing their two sons and daughter along, who were dressed in matching yellow outfits. “Could have just been a date night, but we said, you know what? Let’s bring everybody in celebration,” Joanna explained, wearing an expertly executed face of full-glam makeup. “They’re the result of 20 years of hard work,” said Jason. 

There were newer couples present, too, like Linda and Camila, scheduled to be married next month. Camila worked backstage at The Wedding in 2023: “Look at me, a year later. Full circle.” 

And then there were couples who had attended The Wedding before—like Jeanne and Steve. “We didn’t think we were allowed to come two years in a row,” Steve said. This year’s event was fairly similar to last year’s, he added. “The crowd is as diverse, which we absolutely love.” The couple, who met 15 years ago, secretly eloped in Connecticut three weeks ago. “We were like naughty children. We didn’t tell anybody,” said Jeanne. 

Once all were seated inside the hall’s Wu Tsai Theater, they were greeted by Thake and Isaac Oliver, the ceremony’s host and author of Intimacy Idiot, a collection of essays about love. “We are gathered here tonight under the vengeful heat dome to join you all in holy matrimony,” Oliver announced. After joking about his mother, who is a divorce lawyer, and a proposal he witnessed in a subway station, with the engagement ring fashioned out of a hair elastic, he turned sincere, praising the “radical collective joy” of the crowd. 

Oliver also asked couples to stand, and to remain standing if they have been together for five years. He proceeded with 10, 20, 40, and 50 years. The final couple standing revealed that they have been together for 64 years. “Drunk with power, those two,” Oliver said, before describing how some of the more unusual pairings had come together (participants were asked to tell their stories when they RSVPed for the event). One couple met on LinkedIn. Another met at the airport—a TSA agent and a passenger. 

The Unity Ritual was overseen by Reverend Dr. Jacqui Lewis, Gili Getz, and Dr. Hussein Rashid, who blended traditions from Christian, Jewish, and Islamic faith. Per instruction, couples tied their arms together with their blue ribbons, as Dr. Lewis recited: “Beloved, I take you as my spouse and partner in love, beside me and apart from me, in laughter and in tears.” Oliver added: “I vow to be kind, and to not litter, and to let people off the train first.” 

The knot ritual adds solemnity to what is otherwise a “fun and weird” event, said Thake. “People really are committing to each other, and we want to honor that.” 

The crowd exited the theater to the sound of popping champagne bottles, in preparation for a group toast and dance party on the plaza at Lincoln Center, festively decorated with an enormous disco ball.

As I left The Wedding, touched and impressed by the volume of love one hall could contain, the words of Oliver’s “Wedding Poem” repeated in my head: “Toil beside this person, if you are lucky, for love is laboring side by side in separate plots. But how nice at the end of each day to turn to the other and say, look how I’m coming along nicely. Look how you’re coming in. And together you see what’s ready to be picked, and you try and have a meal.”

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