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West Side Canvas: Two With Mustard and a Papaya; Seeking Equivalent Burger

October 13, 2023 | 9:23 AM
in ART, COLUMNS
29
Painting by Robert Beck.

The Basics
By Robert Beck

I agree with Art Stamford’s recent poetic lamentation in the Rag about the ebb of Broadway, and the solace he found in a Gray’s hot dog at the end.  E Pluribus Frankus.

I did a Weekend Column on Gray’s Papaya back in January. That was about the sustenance, the passion, the nights lying awake dreaming of two with mustard and a papaya. The acknowledgment that there are many more like me, and possibly you, who pine—yes, that’s the word—pine for that climax of New York culinary moments: biting into a Gray’s hot dog. My column was accompanied by an image of Gray’s storefront at night. This time, the dogs are the subject of my painting.

In keeping with my continuing examination of the treasures and pleasures of the Upper West Side, I brought a couple of Grays hot dogs back to the studio for a double portrait. There is a bit of Sunset Boulevard in this, as once they get their Norma Desmond closeup, it’s off to the post-production party, and we know what they are serving.

That’s what was missing from my first column’s painting. The Broadway stars themselves. Once they had been wrapped in foil, paper-bagged, and carried to my studio in the accessory pouch of my computer bag, they were looking a little scrunchy, but lordy, they smelled good. The flavor kept well, and the snap was still there. Pardon me while I wipe the drool off the keyboard.

This brings me to a question I’d like to ask the Rag readers who have made it this far in my carnivorous ramble. I know a place a hundred miles from here that consistently makes the best hamburger on the planet, so I’m familiar with the higher reaches in that culinary category, too. I’ve been in eateries on the UWS that serve hamburgers that are trendy, quirky, and covered with extras, but I have yet to find something extraordinary in the meat and preparation department that keeps me coming back. If you have any positive thoughts, write them below.  I don’t want to hear about some joint that serves a blah burger just because it has your favorite beer on tap, or it’s where you meet your friends, or it serves a multiple-patty cheesy bacon sloppy burger bigger than your head—I’m looking for the best tasting ground beef burger on the UWS. Moist and delicious, on a soft roll.

Speaking of which, if the patty doesn’t stick out beyond the roll, don’t even bring it out of the kitchen. We can talk about putting stuff on it later, but for now, tell me about a burger that beats all the others, straight up with no cheese, nothing other than a dab of ketchup. Or catsup, if you must. This isn’t a contest; it’s a quest. Your comments are invited, but please stay on task. Where on the UWS can it be found?

Mother-in-Law’s Note: Before Robert Beck wrote West Side Canvas, his stories and artwork were featured in Weekend Column. Read Robert Beck’s earlier columns here and here.

See more of Robert Beck’s work and his UWS studio by visiting www.robertbeck.net  And let Robert know if you have a connection to an archetypal UWS place or event that would make a good West Side Canvas subject. Thanks!

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29 Comments
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Seen It All
Seen It All
1 year ago

There are a few great burger joints, though none beat Nick’s BurgerJoint flame broiled burgers. But Nick’s is no longer with us, I really enjoy an Amity Hall Uptown (982 Amsterdam) burger cooked medium rare. It’s juicy, flavorful and I get mine plain, not even ketchup.

1
Reply
Ken
Ken
1 year ago

The burger at La Sirene, 80th & Amsterdam, is quite tasty. I have mine medium rare & sans accouterments, although I occasionally go to hell in a handbasket w/ some of their excellent mayo. Fries are always superb here as well.

0
Reply
Here'sThe Dish
Here'sThe Dish
1 year ago

Two words.
Shake Shack!

3
Reply
Seen It All
Seen It All
1 year ago
Reply to  Here'sThe Dish

Not even close. Only had it once. Not impressed.

1
Reply
Richard
Richard
1 year ago

Shake Shack has potential but quality in the past year or so is uneven. Also too crowded
Grays Papaya still my favorite but they seem saltier than in the past. Never catsup, mustard only. Would prefer a pickle to soggy sauerkraut

1
Reply
Seen It All
Seen It All
1 year ago
Reply to  Richard

After reading this I decided to order some and was taken aback at how salty they are. Don’t remember them being so salty. Glad I’m not the only one.

0
Reply
Dan Ruch
Dan Ruch
1 year ago

7th street burger. No contest.

1
Reply
Janice was there
Janice was there
1 year ago
Reply to  Dan Ruch

I am with you on 7th St. Old school. If White Castle were a truly great burger (and it was tasty, let’s admit) it would be a 7th St.

0
Reply
MEF
MEF
1 year ago
Reply to  Dan Ruch

I think 7th St. Burger is similar to Shake Shack. Too greasy for me.

0
Reply
kakki
kakki
1 year ago

Not quite the “Upper” West Side, but on the very west end of 42nd street.
Truly great hamburgers! Kings of Kobe

1
Reply
Moshe
Moshe
1 year ago

So it’s in Hells Kitchen, but Hibernia Bar on 50th and 9th has a great slider appetizer. For $10, two sliders with potato chips. Add cheese for $1. The sliders are actually pretty big – the patty is hockey puck sized. Tastes like right off the backyard BBQ. It’s a meal.

1
Reply
Steve Kaufman
Steve Kaufman
1 year ago

Shake Shack a 5oz. burger, soft roll. Perfect!

1
Reply
Larry
Larry
1 year ago

Mel’s Burgers on b’way/110th is the only place on the UWS for a really great burger!

0
Reply
DavidB
DavidB
1 year ago

Viand Cafe hands down!
http://www.viandnyc.com/

2
Reply
Ethan
Ethan
1 year ago
Reply to  DavidB

Agree! The Greek burger at Viand is particularly winsome.

1
Reply
Deborah Brown
Deborah Brown
1 year ago

Schnippers, across from Port Authority. I’m from Chicago, and I spent most of my long life in New York searching for a a good hamburger. Schnippers beats the fancy hamburgers all over the city.

1
Reply
Chase
Chase
1 year ago

Robert, have you eaten every hamburger on the planet? if not, then you don’t know the best hamburger on the planet.

also, if you have to ask……..

clown shoes comments will get you nothing from me

0
Reply
Jor Not Rogen
Jor Not Rogen
1 year ago

Upstairs at Fairway.
Was a great burger.
I hear they are re opening again.
Hope it’s as great as it was.

1
Reply
Lesli Klein
Lesli Klein
1 year ago

Try Fred’s. Amsterdam & 83rd. Consistently yummy

0
Reply
Randi P
Randi P
1 year ago

A luxemburger with chèvre and frites at Cafe Luxembourg.
Enjoyed with a glass of Malbec.

2
Reply
Tony Adams
Tony Adams
1 year ago

I have no desire to eat a hot dog, but damn that is a great painting!

2
Reply
Love UWS
Love UWS
1 year ago

I believe Manny’s has the best burger on the UWS. Good quality beef can’t be beat.

0
Reply
moose
moose
1 year ago

Beautiful painting. Hot dogs are my weakness, Gray’s especially (‘one and one’ kraut and onions).
Haven’t found dream burger either, kissed by fire, ketchup, pickle…

2
Reply
Carole
Carole
1 year ago

LOVE LOVE LOVE the DOGS! In fact remember the grilled cheese painting you did? Why not paint specialty foods from UWS restaurants. A much welcomed update to FaceBook photo shots of meals! And in your usual brilliant way you do raise the serious point about burgers. I mean a quick pop in burger place where you don’t need table service. Well anyway, keep up the great work!

Your Biggest Fan

4
Reply
Judy Katz
Judy Katz
1 year ago

I love the painting of the two hotdogs. I keep looking at them and drooling. I would love to have a copy. Can you make and sell me a print? But maybe I’m being hasty. Seeing that all day long would probably drive me to go to Gray’s Papaya every day. Robert, you are an extraordinarily talented artist. I did go to your website and try to see the other painting you did of the Grays Papaya store front, but I couldn’t find it.

Bravo for your great work!

Judy

0
Reply
Robert
Robert
1 year ago
Reply to  Judy Katz

Thank you Judy. Contact me through the website.

0
Reply
Dave
Dave
1 year ago

White mana. Yes it’s nj but if you’ve read this far this is the place you’re looking for

0
Reply
Dee
Dee
1 year ago

Robert,
Please tell us the name and location of the “place a hundred miles from here that consistently makes the best hamburger on the planet”

0
Reply
Pepper
Pepper
1 year ago

Nobody Told Me. 107th & Amsterdam.

0
Reply

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