Pupper West Side: Marty Is an Avant-Garde Performance Artist

By A.Campbell

Name: Marty, but actually my full name is Martin Scorsese – get it?? Because we’re both always wearing tuxedos and we have very similar eyebrows.

Age: 6 years old.

Breed: Cockapoo.

Profile/History: This is a fun story! My parents were dating very seriously and they knew they wanted to get a dog together. They ended up finding me and my sister, Roxy. Both of us were the small misfits within a blonde-colored litter. I’m happy to say my sister, Roxy, is now an Upper West Sider too. She lives with my aunt. Anyway, my parents and I connected immediately and Dad ended up surprising Mom and proposing to her by having my four-month-old self run to greet her with a diamond ring on my collar. Two wonderful gifts at once!

Daily routine: Dad and I take a walk together in the morning – I just love off-leash hours in Central Park – and then it’s a hearty breakfast of table scraps generously shared by my brother and sister. Sometimes it’s pancakes, other times bagels or eggs. I’m not too picky. I get a mid-afternoon walk everyday in Central Park with my sister, Roxy, and our beloved longtime walker, Lisa. In the afternoons, I may oversee a playdate between my siblings and their friends. Once Mom and Dad are done with work, it’s time to just relax. After the kids head to bed, we might crack open a bottle of wine and spend an evening watching some classics directed by my namesake – “Taxi Driver”, “Casino”, “Goodfellas” – all great cinema.

Loves: Directing, producing, writing screenplays….heh. Oh, I should mention that I’m a bit of an ar-tiste as well. You can view some of my most recent work – a collection of videos I like to call, “I would like to eat that, pleaseandthankyou” – in which I lunge for different foods in slow motion. My preferred medium is spaghetti, but I’m also branching outside my comfort zone and experimenting with penne pasta as well. I feel strongly that these videos are some of my most meaningful work to date – my pièce de résistance!

Does not love: Helicopters, airplanes, and birds – threats always circling above me. Arrrgh! Dreadful flying things. I also despise skateboarders and rollerbladers. Gah! Nothing but constant threats from both above and below.

Favorite store/business on the UWS: Mostly I spend time in the park rather than stores. The park is such a lovely space – it’s all I need, really. Well, that and spaghetti.

Favorite treat: Greenies! I always wait very patiently until it’s time for my Greenie each night.

Favorite park spot: Any part of Central Park is wonderful, but I suppose my favorite spots are the areas between the West 96th and 93rd Street entrances, as well as long walks around the reservoir.

What’s your favorite burger on the Upper West Side? Well, since we’ve already established that I’m a foodie, I’ll go ahead and say JG Melon, hands down. If you ask me, it’s the best burger in New York. They’re sturdy – they don’t fall apart on you and become a mess. The flavor is always on point and the cottage fries are To. Die. For. I like my burgers classic – American cheese, pickles, onion, ketchup. In fact, I think the good people at JG Melon call it “The Marty”. And don’t forget a Bloody Mary on the side!

This edition of Pupper West Side is sponsored by Amuse Pooch Treats. Click the ad below to learn more!

Read all our Pupper West Side interviews here!

If West Side Rag readers are interested in becoming pet owners, we encourage you to consider adopting or volunteering to be a foster parent with one of the many sheltersand nonprofits based in and around New York City. These include but aren’t limited to: Muddy Paws RescueAnimal Lighthouse RescueAnimal Care Centers of NYCNYC ASPCAHumane Society of New YorkBideaweeSocial Tees; and Animal Haven.

ABSURDITY, COLUMNS | 2 comments | permalink
    1. Tom Godfrey says:

      I love these. Keep them coming.

    2. Lisa Chang says:

      Dear Marty,
      I’m so happy to hear about your background. Beautiful story. Loved it.