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ORGANIC AVENUE OPENS ON UWS, PROMISES TO CLEANSE YOU “DEEP”

January 26, 2012 | 1:05 PM
in NEWS, OPEN/CLOSED
0

Organic Avenue opened a location on 82nd Street and Amsterdam Avenue today, and the new store is offering a 20% discount on something called a LOVE “deep cleanse” to celebrate. Personally, I tend to celebrate with alcohol or chocolate, rather than “going deep and getting drenched with vital nutrients,” but to each his own.

Organic Avenue is a New York chain that sells products to cleanse your body of all the disgusting things that New York puts into it. Gwyneth Paltrow swears by it, and she always looks perfect and leads a perfect life. Damn her!

The website is filled with descriptions of what the cleanses will do for you, but they appear to mostly be euphemisms for “poop”. Why don’t they just use the word poop?

“This program allows you mental and physical relief from the preparation and digestion of food! By giving your body digestive rest, the many physiological repair mechanisms of the body have more energy to ‘clean house.'”

For other recent local openings and closings, click here.

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