By Liza Cooper
Among the 20 largest cities in the United States, New York ranks the worst in terms of dating, because so few New Yorkers are “actively searching for a relationship,” TimeOut recently reported.
That came as a surprise to me – The Love Coach (TLC) of the Upper West Side. When I walk around our neighborhood with my red-and-white sign, asking random passersby to “Talk to Me About Love, Dating, and Relationships,” the most common question I get is, “Where do I meet someone?”
For those dismayed by the research, here’s hope from people who have found love in NYC. In advance of Thanksgiving, I asked passing couples in the West 70s about their gratitude for their romantic partners — and uncoupled people about why they’re grateful to be single.
Here’s a sampling of my conversations.
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Marilyn, age 84, and Edwin, age 88
TLC: How did you meet?
Marilyn: We were neighborhood sweethearts. It’s been 65 years.
Edwin: Feels like 95 years! (laughs)
Marilyn: It was a different time, and if you weren’t married by 25, you weren’t following the rules. He was probably my only one.
Edwin: Probably? You didn’t tell me about the others!
TLC: This will be the comedy portion of the article! Tell me what you are grateful for in the other.
Marilyn: He’s so easy. If I fed him puppy food, he’d say, “This is delicious”. He’s always there for me.
Edwin: We are attached at the hip, so I have to be.
Marilyn: People say, ‘Look how cute, you still hold hands!’
Edwin: We have balance issues and hold hands to keep from falling! I’m grateful for that!
Marilyn: We are up there in age.
TLC: You look so young. How old are you?
Edwin: She’s 21.
Marilyn: Oh, don’t be a comedian. I’m 86 and he’s 88.
TLC: I can see humor is a big part of your relationship. How are you spending the day?
Edwin: We are going to go for Chinese at Tri Dim Shanghai West on Columbus.
Marilyn: And since you’re a love coach, do you know a nice guy for my granddaughter?
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Andrew and Jake, 28 and 28
Andrew: We met on Hinge, and our first date was at the Amsterdam Ale House off West 77th Street. It was the day of the NYU dentist graduation, and I greeted him with, “Did you see the army of dentists that I fought through to get to you?”
Jake: He was so charming. The conversation just flowed.
Andrew: Our knees were touching, which felt very exciting. We talked forever. A few dates in, I made him dinner at my place and gazed at him for three hours. I’m a love-at-first-sight person.
TLC: Wow! What are you grateful for about one another?
Andrew: Amazing question. He’s mature, wise, witty, and I trust him fully. We’ve been dating for a year and a half, which is like seven years in the gay world!
Jake: Andrew is easy to be with and brings out the best in me. Everyone says I am the happiest I have ever been when we are together.
Andrew: Aww, I will remember these words forever! Jake loves me unconditionally, which I have never had before.
TLC: I am in love with you guys! Your relationship is beautiful.
Andrew: We are in love with you!
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Elsie and Arie, ages 21
Elsie: Are you like Carrie Bradshaw from Sex in the City?
TLC: I like to think so (laughs).
Elsie: Well, I’m done with romance.
Arie: And I was in a relationship for a while but am single now and love it.
TLC: There’s a theme here, and a difference in tone with you two! So what are you grateful for about being single?
Elsie: I can travel and don’t have to worry about texting anyone or missing a partner. Some of my friends don’t want to go away for too long. I’m grateful to be free!
Arie: My friendships have changed and deepened now that I’m single. I have found some of the qualities I seek in a romantic partner in my friends!
TLC: Someone told me being a single woman means you are in the coolest club ever. But you said earlier, “I’m done.” What did that mean?
Arie: I have so much love to give. If I am in a casual romantic relationship, it’s not enough for me. I am an all-in kind of person. Until I meet someone who is ready for that too, I’m grateful to fly solo.
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Cami, age 26, and Bryce, age 27
TLC: You two seem very amorous. How long have you been together?
Cami: About a year.
Bryce: We met on Instagram.
TLC: What are you grateful for in one another?
Cami: He’s always trying to make me happy, keep me calm and positive.
TLC: How does he do that?
Cami: By encouraging me and sending me motivational quotes every day.
TLC: How lovely. And what about you, Bryce, what are you grateful for in Cami?
Bryce: She makes me a better man, by helping me wake up early, be on time, and show up as the best version of myself.
TLC: It’s called the Michelangelo effect, when you bring out the best in the other. Can I take a picture of you for the column?
Bryce: We have tattoos of one another’s names on our ankles. Can you photograph them?
Liza Cooper is a social worker and dating coach.
Single, coupled? What are you grateful for? Share in the comments. Liza responds to every person.
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They’ve only been together a year and have had each other’s names tattooed on their bodies? Hope it works out!
They definitely seemed to have a strong connection, but it’s true that a tattoo sometimes outstays a partner. Print with care!
3,180 babies are named Cami on average each year. So if this does not work out For Bryce he may find another Cami
Love the positive vibe of the whole piece!
Thank you for following!
Great piece! Love the interviews. What a lively and various group of voices you found. Thank you for the big smile.
Thank you for your lovely comment. These were indeed an uplifting set of stories!
Thank you for this beautiful piece of gratitude for both partnership and singledom. You have such a gift in being able to elicit and capture the voices of those you interview ❤️
Thank your for reading and your gracious comment. There can be joy in both for sure!
Beautiful, real article , with adorable love (and self love) snapshots!
Keep them coming❣️
So glad you saw love and self love in this piece!