Across the Street, The Toilet Paper Tower of Her Dreams

Toilet paper has been in very high demand during the coronavirus outbreak, with some people snatching up dozens of rolls to ferret away in their bathrooms. It is a time of such angst about hygiene, that the word “bidet” has been trending on Google.


Search interest in “bidet” over the past year.

Toilet paper has been going fast at many Upper West Side markets, and we’ve heard some stores accused of price gouging on it.

But one Upper West Sider will not be gouged, because this person prepared in advance. What appear to be dozens of rolls of toilet paper are piled up and across the full length of a window of a West End Avenue apartment, according to Meg, who sees the window from her apartment across the street every day. The rolls are piled so high and in such an orderly fashion, the almost appear to be their own window-shade.

Is it true? Is this all in fact toilet paper? We are unable to verify, because of social distancing rules. But they certainly have the look of TP.

When we double-checked with Meg she verified it with the person who would know best.

“I applaud your concern for accuracy,” she wrote. “I agree that top center pair do look bigger. It could be a combination of paper towels and TP. I just called our doorman and he told me that the building’s doorman informed him that it is toilet paper. So now you have two sources.”

See, two sources. Now where’s our Pulitzer Prize?

And hear our plea, Oh King of TP: If we run out of the stuff, can we come by? Can you spare a square?

ABSURDITY | 9 comments | permalink
    1. Zanarkand says:

      Being in the designer plumbing industry for 15 years, I bought a bidet last year and it is life changing. I have a wife and two kids and we use a roll of Charmin per week. It is the best thing ever.

    2. Ed says:

      I was in a super fancy hotel in Korea a few years ago. There was a Toto bidet seat on the toilet. By accident I pressed the wrong button and scalding hot water proceeded to “blanch” my privates. I haven’t walked straight legged since. :0

      • Randie Levine-Miller says:

        i know it wasn ‘t the least bit funny, when it happened to you, but the way you describe it, is hilarious…. you might try a career in comedy! keep well and safe

    3. Glen Kennedy says:

      Hand held shower devices provide the same function as a bidet. If you time your daily routine correctly TP use can be minimal.

    4. alex says:

      Hahaha this is amazing, love the source checking here

    5. LNP515 says:

      I confess to having 2 boxes of Manischewitz Tam Tam crackers squirreled away, which might have been considered hoarding even in the Old World. But hey — I didn’t stack them up in my window.

      The photo’s interesting, but not funny. I think it’s kind of gross. This glutton isn’t just ridiculously overstocking stuff for which there’s a shortage, which is bad enough, but is bragging about it to the UWS via public display (and apparently made sure his or her doorman was aware of these fine accomplishments too).

      Yeeech.

    6. Eliane says:

      This would be FUNNY if it weren’t so SAD!

    7. jakkel says:

      I finally found some TP, but it was sold by the case. So that’s what I bought. maybe this is a similar case.

    8. Brenda says:

      Crises bring out people’s true nature. Hoarding is the ultimate act of selfishness.