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CENTRAL PARK’S WINTER JAM WILL BE MORE LIKE SPRING JAM THIS YEAR; SHUFFLEBOARD?

January 26, 2017 | 9:24 AM
in ABSURDITY, OUTDOORS
12

shuffleboard
Ahh, Winter Jam…

Due to the fact that New York’s climate these days is essentially equivalent to Maryland’s climate 25 years ago, Winter Jam won’t be very wintry this year.

There’s no snow on the ground, and the parks department now says it’s too warm to even blow snow as the park has done in prior years (sometimes they even blow snow when there’s already snow). So the snowboarding, skiing, sledding and snowshoeing events have all been cancelled. Don’t worry there’s still shuffleboard and Quidditch!

The event will be held on Saturday from 11 a.m. until 3 p.m. at the Bandshell in the middle of the park at 72nd Street. And yes, there will be some winter events, including ice sculpting and an ice slide for little kids. More info here.

We promise we will not use the words global warmi…*

*We fully understand global warming cannot really be observed on a year by year basis, and it’s important to look at the long-term trend. So that if we get 100 inches of snow next year, climate change deniers can’t say “What global warming?” Also we fully understand that “shuffleboard” may mean ice shuffle board in this case. And yet, the photo was too tempting.

Photo by Christopher Porter.

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Comments 12

  1. UWSHebrew says:
    9 years ago

    can you get men with larger guts the next time you post a photo? I was not nauseated enough by this one.

    Reply
    • Zulu says:
      9 years ago

      For someone that makes fun of others’ sensibilities by calling them “snowflakes” you appear to be quite sensitive yourself.

      Reply
      • UWSHebrew says:
        9 years ago

        It was sarcasm you humorless communist.

        Reply
        • Zulu says:
          9 years ago

          Two words, one finger.

          Reply
          • UWSHebrew says:
            9 years ago

            very witty! sad.

          • Zulu says:
            9 years ago

            You go low and so do I. I’m Old Testament, “an eye for an eye(…)”, you of all people should be able to get that.

    • ScooterStan says:
      9 years ago

      Re: “can you get men with larger guts the next time you post a photo?”

      Hey, wanna see men with larger guts? Come on down…to Boynton Beach (Flori-duhh) and you’ll see dozens, many of whom look like:
      1. they have a basketball concealed under that Izod Polo; or
      2.They’re in their third trimester.

      Reply
    • B.B. says:
      9 years ago

      Go down to Miami or perhaps any southern European beach or one in South America and you’ll see the same or worse. Worse as in men with physiques pictured above wearing Speedos

      Reply
  2. byrd says:
    9 years ago

    Well in a few more decades central park’s winter jam will be able to include beach sports.

    Reply
  3. Leon says:
    9 years ago

    Which frequent WSR posters are those?

    Reply
  4. MJ says:
    9 years ago

    Ironic since LAST year it was canceled because of TOO much snow.
    https://gothamist.com/2016/01/21/jam_turns_ironic.php

    Reply
  5. Denton says:
    9 years ago

    Didn’t it get cancelled last year because it was too cold?

    Reply

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