FINALLY, UPPER WEST SIDERS CAN KNOW THE TIME AND TEMPERATURE

cnn sign part 3

After the old CNN sign was taken down, residents of the tiny faraway hamlet were lost — unsure of what time it was, how warm it was outside, or whether it might rain. Other than those who had retained their cavemen sensibilities to track the sun, they ate their meals whenever food became available, unable to discern whether it was time for breakfast, lunch or dinner — some would begin lining up at Good Enough to Eat hours before brunch, unsure of when the restaurant would start serving food. They aimlessly flicked through Instagram photos on their phones, lost and bereft.

And then, in a strange and wonderful miracle, a sign emerged atop a faraway building like a comet above the heavens, broadcasting the time and temperature for all to see. And thereafter, the residents of the hamlet ate dinner at dinnertime while watching Jeopardy, and they lined up for brunch exactly 45 minutes in advance, and all was well with the world.

Oh and if you want to buy advertising space on that sign, click here (as long as you also agree to always present the time and temperature on the sign).

ABSURDITY, NEWS | 15 comments | permalink
    1. Nathan says:

      Finally, our long national nightmare is over.

      • ScooterStan says:

        Wha!!!

        The Republican Primary Season is over??

        So now what does Trump do for free publicity?

    2. Naomi Davies says:

      Alas. The strange and wonderful miracle didn’t last long. This morning no date or time organizes our lives from on high. Only two colored rectangles, a small one over a larger, flash their colored non informational lights – green, grey, blue and red.

    3. naro says:

      You might find it amusing but I am pissed off. The CNN sign was stationary and monochromatic…now we will have blazing bright multicolor moving pictures and nauseating lies (I mean advertising). It’s is going to turn Columbus Circle into a smaller version of Times Square.

    4. Screamingparrot says:

      The writeup is hilarious and so are the comments. Oh West Side Rag how I love Thee

      Really, if everyone has their faces glued to their smartphone who cares if the sign gets fixed. They should just trash it. The time with temp is soooo 1980

    5. Cato says:

      Really, the sign was, and is, unnecessary to know the weather in this day of ubiquitous cell phones.

      If you’re outside and can’t see the screen, it’s daytime. If it’s so bright it gives you a headache, it’s nighttime.

      If the screen is wet, it’s raining. If it’s covered in white, it’s snowing (or you’ve been standing under a tree, but let’s not go there).

      If you’re staring at your palm wondering where your phone is, you’re in the middle of a tornado.

      Who needs a weather sign?

      • DMH says:

        hey now, I used to use the temperature as a reference when jogging in Central Park. Like: boy, it’s hot. Or: wow, it’s cold. And: hmm, I should check the news on CNN.

    6. Zperez says:

      This is probably one of your wittiest article and coverage. Notice how quickly you also got CNN to fix the problem. A humbled Upper West Side thanks you.

    7. Gerry Creamer says:

      Ironically, I saw the new sign at roughly the same time as the photo. 92 degrees at 8:27. I did’t that was correct but it is exactly double what the temperature was when it got stuck on the CNN sign. However, I will take take this temperature over any day in January.

    8. Suzanne says:

      Thank goodness!!! I’m one of those people without a watch or a thermometer who is absolutely lost without the CNN clock. I live a couple of blocks away. I’ve noted the puzzle pieces on the sign for the past couple of days, but have not yet seen the time and temp, which from your photo look harder to read than before – but still I’ll be glad to have them back.

      • Lenore says:

        You go, girl! I DO have a watch but I guess I am almost the last person in the Western world not to stare at my phone while walking. I missed that information, and am glad it’s back (but IS it back?)

      • Christina says:

        Absolutely Suzanne!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    9. Naomi Davies says:

      Watching the (un) Time and Clock at Columbus Circle is quite time consuming. Since my post yesterday the colored rectangles have morphed into flash cards. Just one word is being taught today – SKY.

    10. Andrew Matthew says:

      The “SKY (S.L. Green) clock and temperature” is back up as of today at around 8:30AM

    11. D.R. says:

      I miss it, particularly because I like the time to be *imposed* on me — since I prefer not to know it.

      Plus, any little thing that I can possibly carry or afford can’t possibly be good enough to tell me anything — especially to order me to go home and start dinner.

      Also, the time on my phone always changes; every time I look at it, it’s different. On that CNN clock, it froze there in my mind as I turned my back, knowing I had to head for my kitchen.

      And the temperature, it should be “official” — from a public source. My husband may not believe me if I say “it’s 96 degrees.” (I’m prone to exaggeration.) But if I preface it with “the CNN thermometer reads 96,” and add “please don’t take that heavy laptop,” it packs more weight.

      CNN, you’re no longer all you could be to me.