By Cynthia Kaplan & Karen Bergreen
Happy October, Ruthless Friends! If you haven’t chosen your Halloween costumes yet, you’re too late. This week we would like to remind you that early voting in New York starts on October 26th and you don’t want to miss it the way you did Halloween and have to wait four more years to get what you want. You should have seen the line at Murray’s on the Friday before Yom Kippur! Thank goodness, Cindy ordered her smoked fish last week. Shop/vote early! That is our Ruthless Advice.
Got a question that needs some Ruthless Advice? Write to us c/o info@westsiderag.com.
Dear Ruthless,
How are older folks supposed to deal with neighbor kids using scooters in lobbies/sidewalks with no parental supervision? Almost knocking over the elderly and/or brittle menopausal types with bad bone density?
Signed,
Osteoporosis
Dear Osteoporosis,
CINDY: Slip the following under your neighbor’s door: Dear Parents of Scooter Kids, would you walk up to an elderly (or any) person in your building or on the sidewalk and push them over on purpose? If the answer is no, then you shouldn’t let your kid do it by accident while scooting. Even if you have your eye on my two-bedroom next door.
KAREN: Push the kid off the scooter. They are quicker to heal.
Dear Ruthless,
I shop at Trader Joe’s regularly and lately I’ve seen the occasional shopper with a dog in tow. No service vest! When did it become okay to bring your dog into grocery stores? Not everyone feels good about dogs around their food (not sanitary!!) and not everyone feels safe around dogs. Most places, they can avoid, for example, I, personally, don’t go to dog or cat cafes, but if you’re not a dog person, is no space sacred?
Signed,
Shopper for Dog-Free TJs
Otis. Photo courtesy of Cynthia Kaplan
Dear Shopper,
CINDY: I sympathize, and I, myself, do not bring my dog, Otis, into Trader Joe’s even though he is partial to their potato chips with the ridges, as am I. I see two avenues for you to address this. One, if you are afraid of dogs, have a quiet word with the management. You have a right to shop unafraid. Two, have a quiet word with yourself. There are rule flouters everywhere. You are not one of them. That is something to be proud of.
KAREN: I think it’s ok if you can fit the dog in your purse.
Dear Ruthless,
My nephew’s new girlfriend came to our country house for the weekend and brought a generous amount of Zabar’s cheese. When they packed up to leave on Sunday she rewrapped everything she came with and took it home with her! I found this rude and weird. What do you think?
Hungry Westsider
Dear Hungry,
KAREN: This is very rude. My first thought is you should send her a bill for her room and board, but your nephew will never speak to you again. In the future, you need to prioritize consuming whatever hostess gift they bring upon receipt – even if you don’t like it.
CINDY: Young adults can be very stupid about manners and they can also be possessive of consumables due to financial strain. As long as she didn’t take anything else from the fridge, like a jar of capers or a package of smoked fish, I’d chalk it up to inexperience and strategic cheese-hoarding. At least she had the good taste to go to Zabar’s.
Dear Ruthless,
I am expected at a postcard-writing event for Kamala, but my hair needs washing and I don’t have time to do it. Should I call in sick, or actually go to an event with less-than-freshly-washed hair? It seems unthinkable. Please rush your answer.
Signed,
Hair Driven
Dear Hair,
CINDY: Actually, it seems thinkable. What, are you expecting paparazzi? Go write the postcards.
KAREN: Wouldn’t it be more devastating to have clean hair for Trump’s inaugural?
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Wash the hair. Bail on Kamala. Besides, she says she’s already raised $1 billion. What the hell does she need postcards for? Thank-You notes?
All the more so in the case of Trump: he has all the votes he could possibly ever use and doesn’t need any more. Indeed, counting them all will only delay his victory, so let’s not make the situation any worse.
Do you like voting?
Love these!
More please!
Last one best,
As I’m Kamala obsessed!
Great advice column!!!
Love this column — thank you!!
These are fun! Also, apropos the hair query – that’s why people have hats! Noggins are more important than what sprouts on top of them!
Yes of course!! This is why there’s a Millinery Department!
There haven’t been any millinery departments in NYC in about 30 years.
So much better than all the whining about Gail Brewer et al and the crime and the police. I love the Upper West Side and feel privileged to live here. C’mon. Geeeez.
Love the column. How can you get dog owners to move their dogs a few extra feet to the curb so they don’t pee and poop in the middle of the sidewalk or on tree beds with beautiful plantings. What do you think? From tired of stepping in it.
What great replies!
Granted dogs shouldn’t be roaming freely inTJ’s. That said, even the MTA allows dogs if they fit in a bag or container and “are carried in a way that doesn’t annoy other riders”. I’ve seen large dogs in backpacks on the subway, and service dogs are not required to be so contained. (I just tried pasting a YouTube, but WSR will have none of that; let’s see if a link will work. https://youtu.be/cQhJgByC0vw?si=Bs-ugY-to6hXjwFh)
It is true that dogs are more accepted in public places than in years past, and perhaps that’s because our increased knowledge of dogs has demonstrated that they truly are humankind’s best friends, ready to help in so many situations in which we are unwilling or unable to do so.
I’ve taken my dog on the subway several times during “regular” hours, after a few test runs late at night. She’s a big dog; no bag, no vest. She loves the ride, and stands throughout like a real New Yorker, and I have never had a problem with anyone being fearful or upset by it. In fact, many folks ask about her and are impressed with her calm, even temperament. Now, I would not take her to Trader Joe’s or Westside Market; grocery stores are a very different matter.
Trust me, many people are annoyed at you, your dog, and your sense of entitlement that you can violate the rules with a lack of consequence.
Ignoring of rules and total lack of consequence are problems whether you’re a sidewalk riding moped, unlicensed sidewalk food vendor, or a subway riding dog walker.
Love the column–and Otis and Tootsie too!☺️
I had a boyfriend who took the ice cream he’d brought. My family never shut up about it.
Love the column !