Super Friends Forever

By Michele Willens

Sunday’s Super Bowl will be anything but super for a group of longtime friends with deep roots in the Upper West Side. 

There were six of them, all boys, who met at the Ethical Culture Fieldston Schools, Class of 1961. In high school, they were called the Heavies – so named by a teacher “who referred to us football players in the back of the class,” recalls Michael Sukin, one of the Heavies. (“I love Michael, but he’s wrong,” says Roger Hayes, another member of the group. According to Hayes the name was coined by fellow Heavy Joel Perlman, who meant it as an allusion to the “bad guys” in movies.)

Perlman proudly claims credit for the name, which the six school friends proudly shared for decades. 

And now there are five. The death this month of Edward Pressman has hit hard. 

After graduation, the six went to different colleges and then on to separate and successful lives in law, art, films, publishing, and food (does the name Zabar ring a bell?). But they always stayed in touch, and one of their regular gatherings was on Super Bowl Sundays, hosted by Ed Pressman, a Heavy and the son of West Side parents who founded the Pressman Toy Company.

Pressman built his career in another field of entertainment: movies. His producer credits are many: Wall Street, City Hall, Reversal of Fortune, Badlands, and many more. His death last month at 79 was a loss to many but particularly painful for his old school friends, the Heavies.

On February 2, 2023, the marquee at the Paris Theater on West 58th read “A Celebration of Edward R. Pressman.” There, multiple clips from his movies were shown along with video messages from film industry colleagues such as Oliver Stone, Jeremy Irons and John Lithgow. But the words that resonated most were those from Pressman’s Fieldston friends. You might now call them the Old Heavies.

Intrigued and touched by their memories, I checked in with each of the men to learn how they managed to stay close over so many years, careers, and miles. A key, they said, was the Super Bowl.

“I looked forward every year to Ed’s gathering, they were our reunions,” said Robert Abrams, who started school with Pressman in the preschool years at the West 64th Street Ethical Culture campus, and later went into publishing. 

Roger Hayes said he met Pressman when they were in their early teens. Hayes later became a prosecutor and a judge, and when asked about the enduring bonds of the Heavies, he said: “Your questions made me think.” Then: “High school can be a challenging and vulnerable time. Somehow, even though we all played football and other sports, there was no competition between us and a lot of trust. I always wished I had more friends like that.”

Sukin, who became a prominent entertainment attorney, also expressed some surprise at being asked about what held the Heavies together. “I never thought about the uniqueness of this lifelong friendship idea until you asked these questions. I guess I assumed that’s what everyone did,” he said. “As for the Super Bowl parties, that began just for our group talking school memories but then got bigger, as Ed did.” 

One who attended (and often catered) the parties was Eli Zabar, who agrees that “athletics was the powerful collective and great adhesive in our lives. We had a wonderful coach named George Martens who really wanted to win: not what you think of with the Ethical Culture Fieldston ethic.” Zabar said Pressman was a good quarterback, but he mostly remembers the future film producer at bat in baseball. ”He was very at ease, but almost always made contact. It is how he operated in business, and why making movies was perfect for him,” said Zabar. 

Perlman, whose family lived on West 76th St. in his school years, said that as one of the less well-off students at the private school, he found the group’s generosity amazing. “Ed’s family was the first to take me to a Chinese restaurant,” he recalled. “I think it was called Good Earth on W. 72nd.“ He’s equally touched by how they’ve remained supportive as their lives moved on. “We have always been there for each other. When Ed had a movie, we all went to the opening; when I had an art event, they came and bought; when Roger was appointed judge, we were there. I guess there are no friends like old friends.”

The Super Bowl will be watched by many millions. This particular group will find it comforting, perhaps, but bittersweet. (They live in different cities now, though they were all here for the Pressman events.) While they may not be the Heavys anymore, their hearts will be. 

Michele Willens is the author of From Mouseketeers to Menopause.