Poster Demands that Upper West Siders Listen to a Lot of Fiona Apple Music


Thanks to EV Grieve for tipping us off.

Upper West Siders received an ultimatum in a notice posted to a window on East 9th Street, where all important laws are posted in the City of New York. And that law demands the following — that we must listen to at least 200 hours of Fiona Apple before the end of the year and every year afterwards.

Perhaps undermining its authenticity, the poster depicts Fiona Gallagher, a character on the TV show Shameless played by Emmy Rossum.

In any case, the law seems reasonable and we’re planning to adhere to it. Fiona Apple’s music is emotionally deep but it also makes for easy listening. As Upper West Siders, we plan to do our part to get her back to the top of the charts.

ABSURDITY | 44 comments | permalink

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    1. Frank Gallagher says:

      That’s not Fiona Apple. It is Fiona Gallagher a fictional character on Showtime’s series Shameless.

    2. Johnny says:

      The best part is that is a picture of Fiona from the Showtime show, “Shameless.”

    3. GaryGlitter says:

      This is strange, weird and funny because Fiona Apple is a true genuine Generation X icon who made it big in 1997 with her Grammy winning song “Criminal.” Most of her fans were born in the 1960’s and 1970’s. She really doesn’t have a connection to the UWS. She does have a connection to the East Village though. I remember seeing her making the scene at a lot of performance venues throughout the East Village, Bowery and Lower East Side during the Mid-2000’s with her boyfriend writer Jonathan Ames.

      • Erika Blumberg says:

        She went to St. Hilda’s on 114th Street.

      • Charly says:

        She grew up in Morningside Gardens in Morningside Heights, so she was a west sider, though maybe not technically an UWSer. Unfortunately, she was raped in her building, which, as one can imagine, has had a huge impact on her life and is the basis for the song Sullen Girl on her first album.

      • jenny says:

        I LOVE Jonathan Ames! I didn’t know they were an item. His writing is hilarious. And I love the show BORED TO DEATH which is his creation.

    4. HelenD says:

      I don’t know if I have time for Fiona Apple (or Gallagher) in my life, but we definitely need more humor like this right now. 🙂

    5. UWSHebrew says:

      loved her first album. a true talent, and a striking beauty back in the day.

      • GG says:

        Despite having the palatte of a mall food court regular, apparently you DO have some taste in music.:)

        Imagine my surprise.

        • UWSHebrew says:

          *palate
          any more venom? LOL!

          • GG says:

            Thanks for the spell check!:)

            Generally, I think you have pretty good taste in things (restaurants, movies, etc.) And awful taste in others. It’s all a rich tapestry…:)

            As far as other venom…I’ll wait until Nov. 4th.

    6. Eye Litter says:

      If I see any up I will tear them down ….No problem…I’m always walking with my doggy so will my neighbors.

    7. D says:

      Fetch the Bolt Cutters

    8. Mark Moore says:

      That’s neither funny or interesting.

    9. C says:

      Her version of The Whole of the Moon on “The Affair” was the best as well as its theme.

      I’m in.

    10. Paul says:

      The poster failed to note the requirement that to facilitate inspection, underwear must be worn on the outside.

    11. Carlos says:

      So if you don’t listen, I guess that makes you a Criminal?

      #Puns

    12. Jordan T says:

      A flyer posted in the Lower East Side demanding residents of the Upper West Side to listen to Fiona Apple’s music (perhaps on Apple Music?) with a picture of, nope not Fiona Apple, but instead, Fiona Gallagher!

      I guess it is reasonable. I never heard of Fiona Apple. However, I will add it to tonight’s playlist and give it a try.

    13. Chase says:

      Fiona scored a uber rare perfect 10/10 for her latest album in Pitchfork.

      Truth in comedy is the best comedy and that’s where this fails miserably.

      Respect to Fiona though. She’s great.

    14. Jay says:

      I’ve owned a set of bolt cutters for years, and they’re easy, for me, to fetch.

    15. Terence says:

      Love the guerilla marketing!!

      I am hearing this on WFUV 90.7 and it sounds great, maybe the best record I’ve heard since HAIM “Women in Music Part 3”, a real treat, so now I will buy this and see how it compares.

    16. ST says:

      I was told Fetch the Bolt Cutters is Brilliant. Must listen. Especially now that I am required to.

    17. Janice says:

      lol! Spoiler alert: I ALREADY listen to 200 hours of Fiona Apple per year. Sadly, it’s just one song (Paper Bag) played over and over and over again like a psycho. Just ask my neighbors! 😉

      • Ish Kabibble says:

        Ha!

      • UWSHebrew says:

        That’s how I am with Bee Gees, CCR, ABBA, and 90’s club music. Non-stop, same songs, hundreds of times. One song by The Weekend, “I feel it coming”, also like 25 times in a row. Psycho.

        • GG says:

          Interesting…very interesting. Not what I expected but not bad at all.

          People don’t realize what a genius Barry Gibb was…as a performer AND a producer. I like the tunes he produced for his little brother Andy like “Shadow Dancing” and “I’ll Be Your Everything”. Great music and quintessential 70’s coke-fueled disco at it’s best.

          Anyway, love the CCR too. John Fogerty has been doing videos on Youtube with his kids during the first few months of the lockdown and they are great. This dude wrote hits like a machine back in the day. His solo stuff is also great. As a baseball fan, I always love “Centerfield”, which also had a great old music video (remember those?).

    18. Newcavendish says:

      A completely uninteresting article about a completely uninteresting, commercial musician.

    19. Ruth says:

      Garbage! You’d have more luck telling me what to eat than trying to dictate what music I “must” listen to, much less convincing me that YOU know what Muzack I find “emotionally deep”.

    20. Plon Realty Corp. says:

      If you don’t listen to Fiona Apple, I will not evict you! All I care is that you pay your rent on time!

    21. bronco says:

      I’m trying to complete this on time. Have ‘Across the Universe’ on repeat.

      I still love that tune! That time.

    22. christian says:

      It’s a long-form meme…

    23. Stskotty says:

      This is a fantastic poster and should actually be a federal law… BUT you’d think whoever made these posters would be a big enough fan to know the difference between what the picture is not Fiona Apple. Don’t get me wrong, I think we could all use a tiny bit of Fiona Gallagher in our lives too but definitely not the same thing