Passover, like everything else, will be a little surreal this year. One Upper West Sider came up with a way to celebrate the holiday while also acknowledging our strange times. And he’s got a sense of humor.

Michael Skliar wrote the updated Four Questions and Dayenu below. Happy Pesach everyone. Next year in Jerusalem, or maybe Barney Greengrass.

Here’s his rendition of Dayenu, with the words below. And beneath that, how to speak to four different kinds of children.

Di di anu, di di anu, di di anu, diayenu dayenu

If Trump had someone other than himself that he admired

If pandemic response people were not previously fired

If Fauci had been listened to,  If Donald Trump had had a clue

Dayenu

If ‘democratic hoax’ was not the subject of his twitter feed

If all his press conferences were not conducted to mislead

If this administration had not always denied science

And had the credibility to inspire compliance

If Fauci had been listened to, if Donald trump had had a clue

dayenu

If China had been better owning up to this disaster

Tho western governments, they did not move much faster

If all the kids on spring break at crowded beaches drinking

Had just a little common sense and just an ounce of thinking

If Fauci had been listened to, if Donald Trump had had a clue

Dayenu

If governors in red states had not said let’s sacrifice

older people so that stocks were sold at a higher price

If Rand Paul after getting tested did not use the gym

Risking other senators and then he took a swim

If Trump had not constantly lied about the facts

Using every opportunity to endlessly attack

Blaming Obama, taking no responsibility

Only thinking of his reelection possibility

If Trump had someone other than himself that he admired

If pandemic response people were not previously fired

If all of the above did not make us all so tired

And the only good news is this November when he’s fired (lets hope)

If Fauci had been listened to,

If Donald Trump had had a clue

Dayenu

Di di anu, di di anu, di di anu, diayenu dayenu

© M. Skliar 2020

And here are The four types of children by Mike Skliar

1-    What does the socially responsible child say?

The socially responsible child asks “How can I flatten the curve?” To that child, explain that staying indoors and practicing social distancing are not just empty actions, but benefit all of us, including the vulnerable who may have immunity issues.  The measure of society is not how the well-off are enjoying themselves but how we treat everyone, including those most at risk.

2-    What does the skeptical child ask?

The skeptical child asks “Isn’t this just some plot by the Chinese?” To that child, explain that no, this is a public health emergency that has and will affect everyone on the planet, that the 1918 “Spanish Flu” pandemic started in Kansas, not Spain, that this could have happened anyplace where humans deal with animals, whether it be a slaughterhouse in America or a market in China, that viruses don’t respect artificial borders between countries, that international cooperation and coordination is necessary to slow the spread, and that xenophobia will only make things worse.

3-    What does the indifferent child ask?

The indifferent child asks “Who cares about this stuff, when will I be able to watch sports on TV again?” To that child, explain that sometimes there are more important things, and this is the time to reflect on all the many things we have and probably don’t appreciate, and the people that make it all possible, whether it be the delivery person making minimum wage who is helping us stay at home now, or the farmers who are still growing the food, or the health care worker on the front lines.  Maybe when this is all over, some of those ‘regular’ folks will get one-one hundredth of the attention we lavish on pop culture and sports stars.

4-    What do we say to the child who does not know how to ask?

To that child, we say that throughout history, we have had challenges that at the time were new, scary, and seemingly overwhelming, and that not just survival, but “tikkun olum” (repairing the world) is what it’s all about, whether in challenging times or not.