Pupper West Side: Artie Loves Being Chased, Salmon-Based Treats, and His Friend Sergeant Pepper

By A. Campbell

Name: Artie, with guest appearance by Sergeant Pepper

Age: 4 years old

Breed: Great Dane

Profile/history: A good friend of Mom’s had a Great Dane and she discovered that giant pups like us are just big, lazy sweethearts. So she came and found me, and the rest is history! I love living on the Upper West Side and meeting lots of other dogs during my daily adventures. And let me take this opportunity to introduce my good friend, Sergeant Pepper. Say hi, Pep!

Sergeant Pepper: [Waddles over and sits on reporter’s lap]

Daily routine: I’m a very active pup, especially for a Great Dane. Every morning, I wake with the sun. Then Mom and I head to Riverside Park or Central Park for off leash hours. I simply love being chased. Occasionally when I’m running around, people will get spooked by what they perceive to be an enormous, loping pup-horse and go, “Aaagggh!” I get a lot of comments about my size, but there’s nothing to be afraid of. I’m a friendly giant and just happen to be more athletic than some of my Great Dane peers. After our morning park adventures, it’s time to tuck into a healthy breakfast followed by a mid-morning nap. My dog-walker comes to visit me around 2 p.m., and then Mom and I take another walk after she gets home from work. I get a mixture of positive and negative attention on the street, but mostly people tend to be fascinated by how I look. Isn’t that right, Pep?

Sergeant Pepper: Hmmm? Sorry, I was snarfing around for some crumbs under this bench…

Loves: I love sleeping, lounging, and maintaining my lifestyle as a gentleman of leisure. Throw in some fishy-tasting treats and I’m in heaven. I prefer my treats to be soft though, I don’t like hard, crunchy ones. Sometimes, a well-meaning person will give me a hard treat and I’ll just kind of go “Plehhh” and spit it out. Mom says those moments can be a bit embarrassing.

Sergeant Pepper: Treat? Is there a treat you don’t want? Because I’ll take the treat.

Does not love: This may be controversial, but I’ll admit – I’m pretty judgmental of adults on razor scooters. Kids are one thing. They’re small and they’re having the time of their lives. But adults? That might be a bridge too far.

Favorite store/business on UWS: I always enjoy a visit to the pet aisle at Home Goods. I mostly just tolerate the rest of the store while Mom shops, but that pet aisle is my sacred place.

Favorite park spot: I love Bethesda Fountain and Terrace. You know, I once fell into that pond – is it a pond or a lake? Regardless, I fell in once. Mom’s friend had to wade in and grab me and pull me out because I was struggling a bit.

Sergeant Pepper: Terrifying! Have you seen the sea monsters that people catch in those pond-lakes? *Shudders*

Favorite treat: Grizzly Pet Products makes a delicious salmon oil. Mom puts it on my food because the oil is great for keeping my coat lustrous and shiny.

How do large pups like yourself manage to get around in New York?Well, it’s not always easy. Mom has said she underestimated the importance of portability when she decided to get a giant pup in the big city. If we’re heading to a vet appointment, cabs often won’t pick us up. And the subway is…well, you know. The subway is what it is, and I’m just a very large presence on a subway car. So, eventually Mom decided to invest in a car in order to help me get around. I think the most important thing I’d like to share with your readers is that big dogs are often considered scary or intimidating, but most of us are gentle giants. If you approach me calmly, I’ll also be calm. I tend to match the energy around me. Anyway, I don’t want to ramble. I promised Sergeant Pepper that I’d let her end this interview with her favorite song. Take it away, Pep!

Sergeant Pepper: …So may I introduce to you, the act you’ve known for all these yeeearsss, Ser-geant Pepper’s Lonely Hearts Club Baaaaaaaaannnnnddd!

Read all our Pupper West Side interviews here!

If West Side Rag readers are interested in becoming pet owners, we encourage you to consider adopting or volunteering to be a foster parent with one of the many shelters and nonprofits based in and around New York City. These include but aren’t limited to: Muddy Paws Rescue; Animal Lighthouse Rescue; NYC ASPCA; Humane Society of New York; Bideawee; Social Tees; and Animal Haven.

ABSURDITY, COLUMNS | 6 comments | permalink
    1. Sarah says:

      A dynamic duo to be sure!

    2. polly says:


    3. Steen says:

      I love Artie! We see him at least once a week, and he has a great Instagram as well. I wish I could remember its name, but sadly, it escapes me.

    4. Mar a Mango says:

      Mean Mr. Mustard sleeps in that park
      he shaves in the dark
      trying to save paper

      He sleeps in a hole in the road, and
      saving up to buy some clothes

    5. Allyn says:

      I LOVE Pupper West Side, but this was an especially great one. Thank you!