Inside the Met Opera. Photo by Boss Tweed.
Roger Kaiser clearly made a mistake when he snuck over to the orchestra pit at the Metropolitan Opera during an intermission at a performance of William Tell last weekend and sprinkled ashes. The police shut down the opera and had to test the powder and examine people nearby.
The Met declined to press charges against Kaiser, and he wrote an apologetic letter to the opera community. It was obtained by the New York Times.
In the letter, he acknowledges it was a “sweet gesture to a dying friend that went completely and utterly wrong.”
Dear Mr. Gelb and the entire Metropolitan Opera community,
I never imagined I would ever need to sit down and write an apology to several thousand opera goers, to all the people behind the scenes and in the productions, to the staff of such a beloved arts organization, and to New York’s emergency responders. Yet I find myself needing to extend a heartfelt apology to all concerned for inadvertently creating a disturbance at the Metropolitan Opera last weekend.
By way of making amends, please allow me to share a bit of my story, and that of Terry Turner, under whose tutelage I became an avid opera lover.
Terry was a regular customer at the restaurant where I worked for many years. He sat in another waiter’s section, so I only knew him by face. After I went to my first opera in 1999, one of our mutual friends told me Terry really loved opera. So I gave him my number and we chatted a little bit. He was, sadly, moving back to Atlanta in just a few days.
But our relationship immediately became that of pen pals. We wrote religiously. I, being completely new to the art form, asked the most basic of questions. He, a master of all things opera, answered them patiently and completely.
By the end of his life, I had a stack of Terry’s letters on his nice stationery more than 8 inches deep.
Terry and I connected a few times to go to the opera together. I went to Atlanta first. We met in Santa Fe twice and Cincinnati once. He orated non-stop on all our trips. I was an eager student; he was SO happy to have someone to talk to about opera.
I actually know very little of the man himself. He didn’t waste time talking about himself. Just the opera. Tales of his opera goings. And answers to my endless stream of questions. Friends of mine who met us in Santa Fe also grew to adore Terry, begging him to meet us there every year. They loved to listen to him talk opera, too! Often, after our daily two-hour breakfast, we would go sit under a tree and continue our talks.
One day, toward the beginning of 2012, I got a letter that he was coming back to Dallas to live. Relocating. And then he added that a previous bout with cancer had returned.
Terry arrived on a Sunday morning on the bus. I took off work, and we spent the day together. I cooked a nice meal and we took turns deciding which opera we should listen to. He slept on the floor of my second bedroom.
Terry was clearly very, very ill. He went to urgent care at Parkland Hospital in Dallas the next day and they admitted him. He never came back home. While we were discussing his situation in the hospital, once he had opted to be made comfortable till the end, I told Terry that if he would like, I would take some of his ashes to opera houses that I visited in the future. Trying to lighten the mood, I jokingly told Terry they would never be able to vacuum all of him up. He would be there forever enjoying all the beautiful music. His coherency was not good, really, but he sure liked the idea. About a week later, he died on April 25, 2012.
That is what this was. A sweet gesture to a dying friend that went completely and utterly wrong in ways that I could never have imagined. If I had ever thought anything like this could happen, I would never have done it.
I wasn’t secretive about it. I’ve mentioned this promise to many people over the 3 years since he passed. No one ever cautioned that I should reconsider or not do it. I think we each just got caught up in the romanticism of it all. The ugly possibilities never occurred to anyone — myself included.
As a devoted opera enthusiast, the reality of the situation weighs heavily on me.
I impacted people who came to see an opera that was being performed at the Met for the first time in 80 years. People who came to hear what may be one of Maestro Levine’s last outings on the podium. People who came to experience top-notch singers at the best opera house in the world.
These are the very operatic experiences that I encourage others to partake in. Just like Terry encouraged me. I am really not sure I will ever be able to forgive myself for that.
Opera is so much more than just something I enjoy. I LOVE IT. I have no real musical knowledge or training. Just a pretty good ear and a whole lot of enthusiasm. An enthusiasm that blinded me from seeing the potential risks involved in scattering the ashes of my mentor in the orchestra pit of the Met.
I can see now that to others, from the outside, it probably sounds downright foolish. And to all those impacted, I am profoundly sorry.
Warmest regards from a devoted fan,
Roger Kaiser
Peter Geklb replied: “Although your action on behalf of your friend caused the members of our company several anxious hours, severely disappointed our audiences, and cost the Met, its artists and the City many thousands of dollars, I appreciate the sincerity of your apology and the innocence of your intentions, even though misguided. I trust that your future visits to the Met will be without incident, and that you will continue to proselytize about your love of opera to all those who will listen.”
I haven’t read the article.
Because I am shocked that the WSR has taken away our voices at ADVICE FROM AN UPPER WEST SIDE PSYCHOTHERAPIST ON HOW TO COPE WITH THE ELECTION
with their notice: “In the interest of mental health, we’re also disallowing comments on this post!”
now you join others in the silencing of dissent in the name of protecting our mental health!
rethink this. i know you are better than this
db, I don’t understand why you’re upset about the psychotherapist post. I get physically ill every time I see a political ad, my friends and coworkers are fed up with the latest scandals, and we’re counting the days until it’s over. Why do you think our voices are being taken away?
with their notice: “In the interest of mental health, we’re also disallowing comments on this post!”
i don’t have ANY need for others to protect my mental health. i am a responsible adult.
that is no reason
so why disallow Comments?
I do have something to Comment.
db, there are so many ‘no comment’ posts that I didn’t notice, but I see your point now. Just 3 more days! 😮
And it was just last week that you said you never comment about politics…
I do not have a Comment about the Presidential Election, correct.
In fact, at this point, I will withdraw my effort to post a Comment. Requires way too much effort here, and incurs way too much pushback.
I do remember when much more was discussed openly. I feel compassion for those who don’t have that opportunity.
The time honored tradition of real debate about issues ended a long time ago in this neighborhood. Those who dissent from the majority opinion are to be silenced, ostracized, threatened with violence, have their property defaced etc. I saw a clip where folks were presented with quotes and asked who said this Hitler or Hillary. All of the quotes- which people on the street thought were from Hitler- were in fact from Hillary.
The letter is sincere and it was a nice gesture to a friend. But still, what a dumbass. Sorry, but how could he NOT know that what he was doing would create a disturbance? Any word on whether the people who lost tickets were reimbursed?
Thoughtful letter and more than enough for me. Maybe I’ll go to the opera to see what he is talking about (and that incremental revenue could help, in small, to offset his very expensive mistake).
nope.
Just an idea:
In addition to his apology, he should foot the bill for a repeat additional performance to the patrons whose night he ruined. He should also reimburse the dinner, transport and childcare costs expended. He should pay the salaries of the support staff and musicians for the extra opera.
He should also reimburse NYC PD for their extra costs in dealing with his ash-inine behavior.
Is there any sense of personal responsibility left in this world? Or is any behavior excusable with a simple “I’m sorry I inconvenienced you”, “I just didn’t know”, “me bad”
No.
What he never imagined was having to apologize, I find that very revealing wording.
A real apology? Reimbursement or it doesn’t count.
tough crowd
I think it would be easier to forgive him if I did not have a freelance musician neighbor who had turned down various, much-needed work opportunities Saturday night because she was booked at the Met. That was $550 of lost income, she tells me — not just for her, but for many other musicians, as well. And it would be easier to forgive him if I were unaware of the many people who paid for airline tickets and expensive hotel rooms to come hear Levine conduct one of his last shows. They may have gotten refunds for the show, but certainly not for the airlines and hotels. How about reimbursing them?
people like this need to be wiped from the gene pool
Opera lovers?
talk about ruining it for the deceased… your “good deed” ruined what they loved so much.
you failed big time man. unforgivable. so stupid.
TOO FUNNY!
Did he try and dump the entire urn!?
How about a pinch Roger?
Mark my words this is a future Comedy starring Danny McBride.
circle the wagons, shut down the theatre, send everyone home and fear the worst. i wonder if anyone asked him what he had sprinkled, given his answer some serious thought, evaluated his character and thought, “yeah, ashes.”
who decided to close down the show, and based on what?
i guess the sprinkler may have forgotten to consider one of the risks of his action was that he might have been shot.
i once told a machine gun carrying cop (in charge of several others with machine guns) about a woman who appeared to be dying, lying in the rain, on the sidewalk, in the neighborhood of rockefeller center. he wasn’t interested. she was 50 feet from him, around the corner. when i pressed, he got antsy, tried to intimidate me and threatened to take me in for questioning. it’s perverse!
I’m still left with confusion. I am assuming the opera house was evacuated, yes? The audience was told that it had been cancelled, no? Why didn’t this gentleman come forward then to explain what he had done.
Also, Roger mentioned previously that he had intended to come back for the evening performance. Did he have a ticket for the matinee, and if not how did he get in? Doesn’t Lincoln Center have it’s own security? Did he run out after he left the ashes? If he ran out it would have been suspicious and someone would have stopped him, and if he didn’t run then they clearly had time to apprehend him. They could have questioned him and it wouldn’t have been necessary to bring in the entire police force and cancel the performance.
String ’em up! No mercy! Maybe a good ol’ fashioned town square hanging is what we need to bring back a sense of community and vent some of the tension created by the election!
He should be tied up to a post in front of the opera house and audience members who were inconvenienced should be allowed to throw stones at him just like in the Bible.
Do you mean the part where Jesus says, “Let he who is without sin cast the first stone?”
This story would make for an interesting Opera.
The hero here is Peter Gelb, who displays astounding compassion and patience. Mr. Kaiser was, and is, shortsighted and self involved perhaps because of grief over the loss of his friend and mentor, but he does not have to bear the burden of making things righ with all the people who were impacted. That has been dropped on Mr. Gelb’s shoulders, who seems to be handling it with remarkable grace.
If comment #7 is correct, then Peter Gelb’s method of making things right for all those impacted is to stiff a free-lance musician who’d been hired for the performance of a tidy $550. Why should the free-lancer bear the burden when it was the opera company, not the free-lancer, that canceled the performance?
What he did was stupid and thoughtless and hurt many people he gave no consideration to. But the Met didn’t want to press charges and he is clearly actually apologetic. You don’t have to invite him to your dinner parties, and I sure wouldn’t rely on him for anything that requires good judgment, but what do you want, to string him up? I go to the Met, I’d be furious, too, but aren’t there enough people out there right now actively, deliberately trying to hurt people to be mad at forever?
Glad to at least hear an explanation. However, why did Roger not just sprinkle some of the ashes outside of the Met? He is not a five-year-old and should have thought things through a bit more. Thousands of people were inconvenienced, lost time, money and an evening that they looked forward to. I hope that Roger really does have a conscience and is greatly embarrassed by his stupidity and his thoughtless actions!
RE: “Peter Geklb (sic) replied: ‘…and cost the Met, its artists and the City many thousands of dollars…’” I’m sure that if the Met and its artists lost so much money Geffen will be more than happy to make them whole – as long as he gets his name on another building.
Regarding Mr. Kaiser’s letter of remorse
At the heart of this incident is the fact that he DID NOT stop to think of the consequences of his actions. Common sense and courtesy is seriously lacking in today’s society. In this age of homegrown terrorism, this incident could have had a very different ending for the more than 3,500 plus attendees
Mr. Kaiser’s actions have suggested that as long as I obtain permission, I may now spread the ashes of our dogs around the Performance Halls at Lincoln Center. After all, for many years they enjoyed listening to classical music as well as opera performances on the radio and in the park.
My husband and I had thought about spreading their ashes around Central Park where we used to take them on bike rides or walks. However, I believe it is prohibited according the Central Park Conservancy.
As a Metropolitan Opera lover with two subscriptions, who attends more than 16 operas per year, I find this action totally irresponsible and believe there should be consequences to this behavior.
Carolyn, upper westside resident
This guy’s “coherency” is lousy, and respect for NYC, which “naturally” would be part of the equation for someone who has regard for the Met opera, cannot be forced or enforced in retrospect; if I have the story correct, I believe that he did not act discreetly, but mentioned it it a couple of strangers, and it seems like more of an attention getting prank than an act of love. And I still wonder if anyone who spent money to travel to New York, with the opera as a highlight of their trip will in fact be reimbursed by anyone. This man can travel around and pay for entertainment; maybe he should reimburse some folks for his thoughtlessness. If he were not so self-centered, he might give a thought to the fact that maybe this was the last hurrah for some other folks, who just like his friend, might also die soon. What a dope.
For any UWS Opera lovers I highly recommend attending one of the West Side Opera Society events. They are held a few times a year at Trinity Lutheran on 100 and Amsterdam. The acoustics there are simply amazing.
It’s not a fancy night at the Met. But it is a really special and different way to enjoy the Opera. Amazing how many talented neighbors we have up here.
https://www.facebook.com/WestSideOperaSocietyNYC/
Hello All.
Indeed good and kind intentions can sometimes
Have negative consequences that affect many by
Irresponsibility and short vision.
Today we live thinking of the possibility of being
in danger of something unthinkable happening.
May it never happen again.